Crouching Tiger

I don't necessarily want to jump on the "bash Tiger" bandwagon, so that means I can't make any 'hole in one' or 'catch a tiger by the tail' jokes. Too easy and, well...ew.

Plus, you can't blame the guy. I mean, he's spent years representing a company whose slogan is "Just Do It". He was just following orders!

Ok, sorry, I had to get one in.

Seriously, though, I just have to wonder, how did this guy pull this off for so long? And how many other 'role models' are leading double lives? There are some seriously douche-y dudes freaking out right now that they might be outed next.

And let's not leave out the ladies. I'm sure there are plenty of famous all-American gals out there who also have a few skeletons.

But, until the next scandal breaks, and the paparazzi move onto that feeding frenzy, only one question remains for me (well, besides the obvious "How the hell did he find time to play golf?" one)...Who will get the coveted post-scandal interview. Will it be...

-A teary apology with Babwa Walters?

-A frank discussion with Oprah?

-Maybe a man to man talk with Bob Costas?

I just beg you, Tiger, please no sudden 'sex addiction rehab' BS. This will just give bottom feeders like Drew Pinsky even more fodder and we both know the only reason you, ahem, allegedly cheated with so many women was because you can.

Tiger's people are no doubt trying to figure out the best sympathetic comeback role possible. I have no inside scoop, but I'm pretty sure it won't be a guest spot on Cougar Town.

Just a hunch.

Over His Dead Body

Like most people, I reacted with sadness at the news that Heath Ledger had died.

Then I became sadder as the (expected) throngs of media vultures descended on the scene. It's sad but true to think of all the people that will profit from his death. Next week's issues of US Magazine et al will have him on the cover with headlines like "His Secret Life" and networks like E! will produce shows like "The Last Days of Heath Ledger".

So maybe it makes me a hypocrite since, admittedly, I'm watching this stuff too...but I felt a little better about myself that I was watching CNN, and not "The Insider".

That is, until Anderson Cooper had on Dr. Drew Pinsky to 'weigh in'.

Dr. Drew is starting to veer into Dr. Phil territory.

It's just a little too...icky that by commenting on Ledger's possible overdose, Dr. Drew is helping to promote his show, Celebrity Rehab. While I'm sure Dr. Drew wouldn't wish this ill on anyone, between Brad Renfro and now Heath Ledger's passing...it just smacks of some type of Faustian bargain for the benefit of Dr. Drew's career.

And I could kind of get past it until Anderson asked him if celebrities have a higher propensity to suffer from depression. Dr. Drew was just a LITTLE too self-congratulatory proclaiming that he had published the only data (data?) about celebrities because he had administered some type of personality questionnaire to celebs that were on his radio show.

Very scientific. Does this make James Lipton a medical expert, too?

Sigh.