Way Beyond Bueller

Who knew Ben Stein was so huge?

Not me. So when I wrote of my surprise at Ben's place in the political world, I got a flurry of emails that were kind of like, mad at me. Don't you worry, my little chickadees, I wasn't trying to slam your beloved Ben-ster. I think he is a delightful and amusing fella. I was just merely expressing my OWN surprise that he was in the pundit circle.

My OWN surprise...cuz sometimes, it IS just me.

Anyway, much like Baby's father in Dirty Dancing after he realizes he shouldn't have tried to put her in a corner, when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong, so I will cop to ignorance of his awesomely politically qualified past. I should've checked it out. This former speech writer for Nixon and Ford is like a wicked smartee pants with major, major political cred.

But seriously, guys, the dude did guest star on Charles in Charge MORE THAN ONCE.

Anyway, sorry if y'all were offended. Jeesh! Now I know why politics and religion are off limits on a date.

By the way, did I tell you the joke about the priest, the senator, and the network exec?

Barely Baio

Remember that totally moving finale of Charles in Charge?

Me neither. That's kind of how I felt about this season of Scott Baio. Didn't you kinda stop caring? Did you ever?

I DID, DAMMIT!

So what killed Scott Baio?

It was a lethal combo of Johnny V, too much Scott Baio DOING THE RIGHT THING, and the biggest problem...it was totally overscripted and NOT in a good way.

You spend TWO whole seasons getting Scott Baio down the aisle (not to mention 46 years) VH1, and you throw us that lame redneck wedding? With the random brother Stephen cameo? What, cousin Jimmy wasn't available?

And if you're gonna go scripted, why not fake a little more hesitation to go down the aisle? Or have him break down? Or not throw his 'engagement party' in a room that looked like the executive producer's back office with some tablecloths thrown over the desks?

It's not all bad. I did love (fake or not) when Chachi Scott visited his agent and they joked about all the scripts they were getting in: Frankenbaio, Baiowulf, 28 Baios Later, and my personal favorite Brokeback Baio.

Maybe, just maybe, if there's a Season 3, VH1 will give us...Flavor of Baio.

Or Rock of Baio.

Or Behind the Baio.

Help! I can't stop Baio!