9021-oh-no!

With the Emmy's around the corner (my Superbowl), I feel inspired. I haven't given out my own awards in awhile. So, today I present you with an all-90210 edition:

*Spoilers*

Worst use of a green screen, or, most unrealistic drive since I played Pole Position at the mall arcade in 1986 award: Dixon and Silver's spin through Beverly Hills in Jessica's 'car' looked so fake I was surprised the Wicked Witch of the West didn't come riding by on her bike in the background.

Most changes to a hairstyle in a single hour, or, hire a continuity person, stat! award: Naomi's hair, which seemingly went from short to long over a night...and also went from super hot rollered to straight-ish in the time it took for her to walk from her locker to outdoors.




Best reason not to smoke, ever, award: Jessica Walter's crinkled up, scary looking lips that were at least a distraction from her over the top bad acting as the grandmother/new drama teacher.


Biggest guest star appearance to not live up to the hype award: Shannen Doherty, whose only function seems to be to utter random reminders of the departed cast members ("I can still hear the chants of Donna Martin graduates...").












Biggest "We're still holding out hope that we can convince Luke Perry to swing by on his motorcycle and liven up this place" award: That goes to the producers and writers, when it was revealed last night that the father of Kelly's baby is Dylan. At least, I think that's what they revealed?!

Chuck Cunningham award: Where is that girl Adrianna from the pilot? The theater girl with the drug problem?

At least Nat's still kickin' around.

Just Say Cheese!

Wow, the claws are out on 90210! And I'm not even talking about all the scandal that went down on last night's premiere...

It's the critics! All of the reviews I've seen thus far seem to me like they were kind of written in advance by some pissy haters that were miffed that the C-Dubya didn't release advance copies of the show. What did you expect, people? Shakespeare?

First of all, take Variety's review: "The second hour gets a big boost from the appearance of Shannen Doherty returning as Brenda," writes Laura Fries. Really? Yes, we all tuned in to see the return of infamous Brenda, but seriously? She was in it for like 2 seconds. A big boost? Not so much.

I do agree that Jessica Walter (the grandmother) was doing some serious "scenery chewing". And for me, Silver's cartoony blog thing was annoying as hell...and not just cuz I'm, well, a blogger, but because it was about as real-feeling as that early-incarnation-of-email moment in Pretty in Pink when Andrew McCarthy video-emails Molly Ringwald in the library.

But I digress.

I just don't understand all the hating! It was fun...in that guilty pleasure sorta way that only 90210 can bring you anyway. So I say, just give in. It's like when I opened my boyfriend's refrigerator recently and found Cheese Whiz lurking in the back. Sure, I pretended to be horrified but let's be honest...I really just wanted to nuke that sucker and spread it on some crackers.

Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker didn't like when the Ethan character declared "I'm breaking up with us". C'mon, Ken! Any 90210 connoisseur knows that was just a modern day update of Kelly's famous "I choose me" line from the 90210 of yesteryear.

Hey, it might be cheesy, but it's OH so good.

90210 2.0

It's coming.

It's coming and you can't stop it.

This Fall, CW, home of new classics like Gossip Girl and America's Next Top Model, is bringing us 90210, the new-but-let's-be-honest-how-could-it-possibly-be-improved?-version. I'm excited and scared at the same time.

As you've probably already heard, it looks like both Jennie Garth AND Tori Spelling are coming back. And now, word arrives that Shannen Doherty might, just might, also be moving back to Cali's favorite zip code.

But no Dylan?! Sigh. Luke Perry has decided he and the pompadour are not returning. I heart Luke and wish he would come back, but I understand he is destined for more movies of the week bigger and better things.

In Luke's honor, let's all remember the greatest moment in the history of 90210, the episode where Dylan's wife Toni is shot one day after their wedding:



Don't lie. You cried, too...maybe just not as hard as when Ray Pruit (Jamie Walters) threw Donna (Tori Spelling) down the stairs.