Donna Martin graduates

My DVR keeps taping the new 90210 but I keep ignoring it. However, with Tori swinging by for a visit, and frankly, not much else to choose from other than a backlog of Oprah's, I figured what the hey.

Talk about a bad judgment call.

Where oh where to begin?

First, why was Tori channeling dear old dad's show Charlie's Angels? Those awful Farrah rolls in her hair were sooooooo '77. And not in a good way. Also, as it turns out, she saved herself for David for nothing...the big return was a setup to reveal Donna and David are separated. Oops, sorry, forgot to do a spoiler alert.

Right, like anyone besides me is watching this.

Second, Dixon and Annie are supposed to be brother and sister, but frankly, they're a little too close for comfort. They go on a secret road trip together and stay in the same hotel, they're giggling, dare I say flirting?...this is some serious Flowers in the Attic s**t if you ask me.

But the worst part, by far, is the Dr. Pepper product placement overload. I can handle an "organic" (those are air quotes) placement here and there - a subtle can shot...even a 'hey, can you pass me the Dr. Pepper?" I admit, I've produced a few shows that, artistic integrity be damned, have contained a few organic-in-air-quotes product mentions. But OH MY GOD, this was bad.

Like, I literally thought at one point that character Dixon might bust out with "I'm-a-Pepper-you're-a-pepper-wouldn't-you-like-to-be-a-Pepper-too?" as his next line.

I guess times are tough. You gotta do whatcha gotta do.

As a matter of fact, I'm blogger with no income in a recession. Hey Dr. Pepper, come advertise on my site!!!!

90210 2.0

It's coming.

It's coming and you can't stop it.

This Fall, CW, home of new classics like Gossip Girl and America's Next Top Model, is bringing us 90210, the new-but-let's-be-honest-how-could-it-possibly-be-improved?-version. I'm excited and scared at the same time.

As you've probably already heard, it looks like both Jennie Garth AND Tori Spelling are coming back. And now, word arrives that Shannen Doherty might, just might, also be moving back to Cali's favorite zip code.

But no Dylan?! Sigh. Luke Perry has decided he and the pompadour are not returning. I heart Luke and wish he would come back, but I understand he is destined for more movies of the week bigger and better things.

In Luke's honor, let's all remember the greatest moment in the history of 90210, the episode where Dylan's wife Toni is shot one day after their wedding:



Don't lie. You cried, too...maybe just not as hard as when Ray Pruit (Jamie Walters) threw Donna (Tori Spelling) down the stairs.