Ice, Ice Baby

Another week, another topsy turvy Bachelorette episode.

*Spoilers*

This week, Ali and the gang headed to Iceland. I am guessing the Iceland tourism board sponsored this episode...either that or every cast member suddenly developed some kind of Iceland-Tourette's. The transcript of the first few minutes went something like this: "I am excited to walk down the street IN ICELAND to fall in love with Ali IN ICELAND where surely some cool stuff will happen IN ICELAND. ICELAND, ICELAND, ICELAND. Did I mention we'll be in ICELAND?"

Um, yeah. Now, I was pretty psyched to watch this episode, especially since I'm headed to ICELAND in a few days. What a coincidink!

Luckily for me, I'll be exploring the land of volcanoes and glaciers with my boyfriend, and not those knuckleheads that Ali had to contend with.

Let's be honest, the contestant pool this season is WEAK! Now, the total New England girl in me is of course rooting for Mr. Cape Cod-Nice-Guy next bachelor Chris L. Duh. However, the producer in me loves loves loves Justin "Rated R" aka "The Wrestler". I'm sure all the blogs are right, and that he's just another fame-whorin' kinda guy...but who cares?! He is so much more fun than the rest of these snoozers!

In my house, we love watching him stir it up, and I'm sort of hoping it's not him who leaves next week in the most shocking-departure-EVER.

As for this week, as expected, wackado Kasey was eliminated after revealing his tattoo, and the producers, I imagine, were practically beside themselves to get that shot of Ali and Justin pulling away in a helicopter while Kasey was left to freeze to death on a glacier. I did cackle with delight at this, too, but no frost-bitten exit interview with Kasey???

B-b-b-bummer.

Ali Oops

*Spoilers*

I finally got around to watching Monday's Bachelorette. With each week's episodes clocking in at 2 hours, it's hard to get through it all in a timely fashion. So, it ends up on a to-do list somewhere between laundry and a mani-pedi (hey, you can't neglect your cuticles).

Anyhoo, this crap gets loonier every season, and they've got a doozy of a character this go-round. Having worked with some Bachelor producers myself, I have it on pretty good authority that all contestants have to go through a pysch consult before going on the show.

I'm pretty sure Kasey slipped through.

I'm also pretty sure the producers must be giving Ali a bonus to keep this crazy stalker around.



In case you missed it, after Ali basically told Kasey to refill his anti-pyschotic prescription slow down, he went out and got a tattoo. In her honor. Oy.

Before Ali got to see this piece of (art)work and be suitably horrified, she was pulled away, so he slips through to another week. Sadly, though, her biggest mistake wasn't keeping Kasey around.

Ali, Ali, Ali. When the producers boss you around to keep a seemingly deranged lunatic on the show so people keep tuning in, ok, you do it.

But, when they ask you to don a LEOTARD that even Heidi Klum would have trouble pulling off, one that is so unflattering it creates a fake-side-boob situation, it's time to take a stand.

I don't care if you get to be in "The Lion King". In that outfit, no one can feel the love tonight.

Blonde Ambition

Those Bachelor producers are at it again! The latest Bachelorette (no big surprise for those of us Rose followers) is Bachelor/Jake season alumni/early-leaver Ali.

Now, I was a big Ali fan on the Bachelor, too. Cutie, blondie, breezy, New England-turned-San Fran gal? What's not to like?

Well, here's the problem.

We're two episodes in, and there are some issues. Now, don't hate me for this, but...

Dear Bachelorette-stylemakers/producer-types;

Ali finally dumped the Facebook job to go on your Bachelor franchise, the main purpose of which is to get her in a hot tub on national television...I'm sorry, but she is not looking TV skinny. Hold the hate mail. I'm sure her skinny jeans are way skinnier than mine. I am NOT suggesting she is fat. Calm down.


But, you producer-types are making her look kinda, well, NOT Bachelorette-ish. If you were throwing her in some prepster J.Crew-ish dresses more often, it'd be just fine. But, you're shoving her into these awkward unflattering outfits and seem to have pasted some Brittany Spears-ish extensions into her formerly au naturel hairstyle. Or worse, her photo shoot with the boys had her rocking a bikini with...what were those, business pants? If she can't rock the full bikini, then at least throw her in a sarong!

Let's be clear - I'm not hating on Ali. I'm SO not. But fix that wardrobe problem, STAT!

Also, with all the fame whores eligible bachelors out there, couldn't you at least have found some hotter guys?

On a lighter note, I'm proud of you Bachelor producers. Season 800 (or whatever) and you've kept your record and delivered a season teaser that includes a police siren and what looks like some serious drama drama drama.

I'm hooked, thorns and all.