The Rose Parade

This week, VH1 has decided to run a Bachelor/Bachelorette marathon. All week, hours upon hours of retro Bachelor. So, if you don't work, and you really dig broken engagements, your dream has come true.

On Tuesday I happened to catch a fair amount of the Trista re-runs (I swear I do work occasionally), including the Pepto Bismol infused wedding spectacle that was Ryan and Trista's nuptials. I had forgotten how ABC dragged this thing into what seemed like 80 hours of television, about all the hyperbole ("the most anticipated wedding since Charles and Diana!"..."the wedding of the decade!")...and how Trista's squeaky baby voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

It's all especially intriguing to me. In recent months, I've started to investigate the business side of this here blog and I learned how to track the way strangers arrive on my site. The #1 Google search that lands people on my blog? Trista's diet. Trista's diet that I mocked and ridiculed mind you, but this is apparently what the American pop culture public yearns for.

Now, lest I be a total hypocrite in my mockery, I admit a weakness for the Andrew Firestone season, which is on for a good chunk of the day/night Wednesday.

You can relive it with me (time to call in sick!), the innocent days when Jen Schefft captured that hottie Firestone's heart.

And, by the way, what was Jen thinking letting Andrew Firestone slip through her fingers? She could've been rich and drunk on a vineyard for the rest of her life! I'd travel to an island with Ricardo Montalban for that fantasy....

Singled Out

Even though the Oscars are a distant memory (thank God), here in Is It Just Me? TV-Land, there are never enough awards to give out.

And because of that, it is with glee I give some out for Monday night's broadcast of the Bachelor one-hour commercial for their new season "Where Are They Now?" Special.


















ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM Award: The update on re-engaged Bachelor Andrew Firestone left out virtually any discussion of what former fiancée (and former Bachelorette) Jen Schefft is up to. The update also failed to mention what factory Andrew gets his genetically engineered blonde fiancées from.

SCARIER ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM Award: Host Chris Harrison announced that Byron proposing to Mary was voted "Most Romantic Moment in Bachelor History"....even though Mary was arrested in November for assaulting Byron. Love hurts.

ONLY HER COLORIST KNOWS FOR SURE Award: Does that media-whore Trista really think mousy brown is the way to go these days?













It is so, so wrong that I continue to watch this series.

I will NOT accept this rose!

I usually reserve this site for commentary (ok, rants) directly about what's on T.V. That's why you'll never see stupid gossip about who's zooming who in Hollywood on this site.

Well, unless I see it on T.V.

But, allow me the exception today. And, since it's about Trista Rehn (or is it Trista Sutter?), the Bachelorette-fame-hanger-on-er, I think it fits the parameters of "T.V.-related".

So Trista's on the cover of US Weekly this week, and while I'm grateful it's not ANOTHER pic of Britney Spears, this is ridiculous! Her fifteen minutes are SO over, but that's not even it.

She's on the cover to promote how she lost the baby weight. US lures you inside with promises of her "exact diet & workout". And of course, me being me, even though I have no baby and therefore no baby weight, I still was curious. I'm sure this same reaction will be had by suburban moms across the country.

Then I read the first day of Trista's "diet".

(Cue the needle off the record.)

Breakfast: A bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats...with Skim Milk.

Here's a list of some of the key ingredients in Frosted Mini-Wheats: sugar, high fructose corn syrup and BHT. What's BHT you ask? It is used to prevent oxidative rancidity of fats. I don't even know what that means...but, ick! In fact, Google BHT. I dare you. It'll send you running to your cupboards to check labels immediately, but I digress.

Some of the other suggestions: grilled cheese (on whole wheat), Nestle Crunch Dibs (please, she's so getting paid off to promote these brands!) and Sunchips.

I know I'm a cynic, but puh-lease. If Trista really followed this diet to get that body, I'll eat that bikini she's wearing.

Actually, maybe not. It might be preserved with BHT.