Today Sweeps Me On My Feet

The Today Show announced the arrival of the four horsemen of the apocalypse that First Lady Laura Bush is guest-hosting an hour of the show next week.

This is how they ramp up to sweeps? By furthering some legacy-preserving agenda of the Bush administration? Besides, let's not pretend to be news-y, Today Show producers. Not when "Battle of the wines: Boxed vs. bottled" is an actual headline of a segment on your show.






While I'm ranting, isn't it about time that Al Roker stop intro'ing every local weather report with "That's what's going on around the country..." Dude says this no matter WHAT they are coming out of. It's really weird. Surely I can't be the only one who notices this? I mean, it makes sense when he actually gives the weather...around the country, but when he is talking about, say, lightbulbs, maybe he should mix it up a bit.

I'm just saying.

At least I'm excited for "Where in the World is...Matt Lauer". I do love that catchy little theme song. But, where in the world is The Today Show I used to love?!

Mysteries of Happy Days

There is a Happy Days coverup going on, and I'm here to expose it.

The Today Show is running a series this week getting together casts of old shows and kicked it off with most of the cast from Happy Days. I have no idea why Scott Baio was not a part of it, especially since he was on Regis & Kelly an hour later. A booking error... or a conspiracy to have every channel become ALL HAPPY DAYS, ALL THE TIME? You decide!

Just kidding, this is not the mystery.

And no, I'm not talking about Chuck.

Everyone who ever talks about the end of Happy Days refers to the Joanie & Chachi wedding, topped off with Mr. C's final farewell. That certainly does SEEM LIKE the logical last episode. Hell, I even posted this clip just the other day.

But it's lies! All lies! There were FIVE more episodes after that 'finale'. This campaign of misinformation must stop NOW. Am I the ONLY ONE who remembers the episode that was a thinly veiled ripoff of the Stephen King movie, "Christine"? Fonzie with the old '55 Chevy? C'mon, people, I know you saw it. Now, it's not a classic (talking about the episode, not the car) like, say, when Fonzie goes blind or meets Mork, but it's out there and it was AFTER that damn Joanie loves Chachi wedding. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy!

I mean, annnnnnnyway, I'll tell you something that is NOT a mystery. Poor, poor Erin Moran. Little Joanie wants so badly to be famous again it's hearbreaking. Every time that girl is ever on camera, she just says over and over again "I loooooooved it" about her time on Happy Days, like if she keeps saying it over and over, someone will let her play Joanie again. She's definitely pissed those Brady bitches got that variety show.

Well, her prayers have been answered...sort of. Sources tell me she's headed to Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. Now, I don't think she actually needs to lose weight but if it got her mug on tv....well, let's just say she's probably at Arnold's RIGHT NOW downing some cheeseburgers....

Today's Obsession

Can The Today Show please start reporting real news? This show has basically become a bunch of weight loss segments crammed between Britney Spears updates.

On Monday's show, it was particularly evident that they've completely thrown in the towel and no longer even bother to do any research or maintain anything resembling journalistic integrity. When Hota Kotb talked to the extremely hard news-based source at People Magazine, she asked about Britney: Do they know "what kind of drugs she took"? Hey Hota, how about 'allegedly' took? Do you have any tangible evidence that this chick took drugs?

She then follows up that irresponsible statement with a comment about a photo that was published of Britney's mom at a cemetery, saying, "I think she was at her parents' grave?". The dude from PEOPLE had to correct her that it was the grave of Britney's aunt, since Hota didn't so much as Google the damn info to try and get it right.

Sigh.

Actually, I don't want to be accused of being irresponsible myself. One of the Today Show's lead stories was not about weight loss OR Britney...it was about some dude who accidentally turned his skin blue.

I take it back, Today Show. Smurfs are totally news.

Boob Tube

Just as I'd prayed for in my February 24th posting, Sherri Shepherd has joined The View, and frankly, not a moment too soon. So far, the addition of Whoopi Goldberg has yielded a discussion on how she doesn't like to wear a bra, followed by an entire segment about finding Whoopi a bra.

If this is what the future of The View looks like, I'm thinking the picture is not too ROSIE. Sherri's got some sass though, and I am hopeful she's going to spice things up.

Meanwhile, over at The Today Show, that fourth hour is everything I feared. It's just fluff fluff fluff. Literally. One of today's highlights in journalisim featured a lengthy segment on curly hair vs. straight hair. Seriously? I smell Emmy!
At least Matt Lauer has the good judgment to hightail it outta there before that hour begins lest he be dragged into that embarrassing coffee klatch.

Tomorrow on TODAY...

This has been bothering me for awhile now. Years in fact. And now it's time to let it ruin YOUR Today Show viewing experience, too.

Unless it's...JUST ME.

Always a bridesmaid Ann Curry often steps up to be co-anchor when Meredith is away...the same way she did when Katie was away. How come EVERY FREAKING TIME, Matt Lauer is clearly contractually obligated to qualify her as "sitting in for Meredith..." on the half hour. WE GET IT!!!! We don't need an overview of The Today Show org chart at 30 minute intervals. Plus, it's sort of painful to watch it get rubbed in Ann's face that SHE IS NOT THE REAL CO-HOST on a regular basis. The madness doesn't stop there. When Ann fills in for Meredith, then we have to hear Ann say who is filling in for her at the News Desk every half hour too, lest we think she has vacated her seat permanently....and so on and so on and so on.

I don't care what your job description is, just cue up the next makeover/splurge vs. steal segment and get on with it! The show wouldn't need to be 4 hours long if you didn't eat up all the time with this nonsense!

I still heart Matt Lauer.