Finale Fever

I'm not sure why I always find myself traveling every finale week, but here I am again, away from home, and away from my trusty TV. My DVR is currently holding my finale episode of Grey's Anatomy hostage while I try and avoid any spoilers until my return. Just one more day until I finally see (or don't see) what becomes of Katherine Heigl.

Speaking of *spoilers*, here's a few comin' at ya, so beware in case you, too, have a DVR holding your beloved season-ender hostage.






BTW, I should mention that I didn't even bother writing about the Brothers and Sisters finale before I left because it was just so damn boring. No one in peril, no freaky fires, no more William Walker relatives...nuthin'. Just a hint that maybe that girl who used to be Justin's sister (but is now, ew, his fiance) may secretly be nutzo. Yawn. No, I don't care if Rob Lowe and Calista Flockhart's characters are or are not together, or if Calista/Kitty/whoever hooks up with that totally vanilla guy from the park.

Now, I did manage to squeeze in Desperate Housewives while I was away and...well, that was some decent finale-ing. Not mind blowing stuff, mind you, but I give it a solid B, which brings us to, of course...

The Good Lynette's surprise pregnancy? Priceless. And, I love the idea of Bree with Karl (Richard Burgi is so great as a slimeball, and I'm still catching up with his character and the goings-on at Harper's Island. More on that soon). I hope to see more of their dance next season. Very Sam and Diane-ish.

The Bad RE: Carlos's niece coming to live with Gaby and Carlos. I dunno, I mean... the random relative (or fake relative, who knows) that comes to live in order to shake things up? Isn't that sort of a been-there-done-that plot device? Haven't we been doing this since the arrival of cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch?? Snoozy.

The Cliffhanger I am so glad we have (hopefully) seen the last of Dave. Man that guy was creepy. And nice job, Desperate Housewives, with the "Who did Mike marry?" tease. Dear lord, I hope it's not Katherine. There has not been a couple with this little chemistry since Mr. and Mrs. Roper.

Now, the only cliffhanger HERE is whether or not I force myself to sit through The Bachelorette premiere tonight...

Liar, Liar

*Spoilers galore!*

Last week, I was kind of pumped up after watching the Brothers and Sisters promo for their 2 hour movie. That show has followed a path of ok, awesome, who cares, and ok over the few seasons it's been on. But when their promo was touting a death? Well, in the world of dramas...deaths and weddings? We love 'em!!

But then I was feeling a little sad, cuz it looked like Rob Lowe's character, Senator McAllister, was a goner. I've loved that Rob Lowe ever since he was Sodapop Curtis! Why, oh why, would they kill him off? But when good 'ol Robbie survived the heart attack and all, I thought, OOOH, plot twist! Tommy is gonna get offed by Holly! That's gotta be it, I hope?! Those ads promised me a death, dammit!

Frankly, as the clock ticked on, I started to panic about who the grim reaper would send off to TV heaven...especially when Kitty put a loose blanket into that new baby's crib. Eek! Suffocation alert!

But here's the thing...no one bit the dust! That baby was as snuggly as a Snuggie one scene later, Tommy is just an embezzler, and the Senator is just ruthless, not dead.

What gives, ABC?

The show was actually one of the best I've seen in awhile. So why fake us out with the death promise? We would've been totally tuned in anyway if you'd just stuck with Cliffhanger 101 and kept it to the "Will he or won't he make it?" teases.

Cue the shot of the flat line. Duh.

And speaking of fake outs and ABC, by now you've all heard about the little switcheroo on the Bachelor Monday night. Maybe it's all legit: Jason's just a loser who dumped his fiance ON TELEVISION for the runner up. Not scripted by the producers at all.

Pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells.

Finally, rounding out this week's trifecta of fakery, this poor dude Dane Patterson from The Biggest Loser...he lost like 100 pounds in 8 weeks, and now all anyone can talk about is the fact that even though he ran 23 of the 26.2 miles of a marathon, an overzealous producer in need of their all important finish line shot, like, NOW, drove him to the finish line.

Drove him. Like, get in the car and take a load off. Maybe we'll get a hoagie on the way.

Sigh.

Can we believe anything on TV anymore? Next thing you know, you'll tell me Trump's hair isn't naturally like that....

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Stay Gold

Video may have killed the radio star, but Facebook might be killing the TV stars. Where the hell have I been? Well...uh, facebooking, recessioning, all that good stuff.

Anyhoo, I'm back now and I have a confession to make: I watched the Oscars the other night WITHOUT the usual glee and fervor that consumes me. What is going ON? Is it because every movie is such a huge freaking bummmmmmer?!!!!

I mean, at least The Wrestler was great, but again not a huge pick me up. And yet, I didn't even get the joy of having my man Mickey make his big speech. Damn you Spicoli Sean Penn!

And The freaking Reader? Now there's a good time. Watched it with my parents and not sure who fell asleep first, me or my (over 70) dad.









Ain't no way I'm touching Revolutionary Road. I'm sure the performances are great, and I know it's not fair to trash talk a movie I have never seen, but I think I'll skip the whole "Death of Dreams" genre.

As for you, you perky Slumdog-bandwagonners, I squeezed this one in just under the wire before Oscar night, and like that damn Little Miss Sunshine and Juno before it, I am not drinking the Kool Aid. Oh calm down, I liked it, it was heartwarming, blah blah blah. But best movie ever?

Not so much.

Well, with the Oscars behind me, it's time to get serious about TV again. I've got a DVR back up of Lost, a Bachelor finale next week and that overly dramatic-do-they-or-don't-they-kill-off-Rob-Lowe? Brothers and Sisters two hour movie "event" to watch on Sunday.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in...

Brotherly Love

*SPOILERS*

On ABC's Brothers & Sisters, the latest storyline involves Justin falling for...his sister, Rebecca. Now before your gag reflex totally kicks in, like, relax. She's not really his sister. But, all season Justin and Rebecca thought they were both chips off the same dead guy's block, until the arrival of that dude from Thirtysomething who is ACTUALLY her dad. Follow?

Anyhoo, they now have scientific proof that they are indeed, NOT related, and all signs point to these two swapping spit next week, and NOT for a DNA test.

All I can say is...GROSS!!!! Related or not, they thought they were brother and sister for like a year! It's...ICKY!

Which led me to recall some other somewhat uncomfortable brother and sister acts over the years:

Marcia & Greg: Sure, on TV it was all unicorns and rainbows. Offscreen, they were gettin' down to a different type of groovy.


Donny and Marie: She's a little bit country. He's a little bit rock and roll. Opposites attract. Discuss.












Ross and Monica: Sure, they've slept with each other's best friends. But, these two give new meaning to "gettin' jiggy with it".

Knocked Up

Two little curveballs have been thrown my way this week regarding the paternity of a child.

Or have they?

Relax, I'm not on Maury, and I ain't talkin' 'bout no baby daddy of mine. I AM however, talking about two shows: October Road & Brothers and Sisters.

*SPOILERS*

First, Ken Olin appeared at the end of Brothers and Sisters this week. If you don't remember, he and Patricia Wettig (who plays Holli Harper) starred together on "Thirtysomething". His brief scene, where he drops in on Holli at her office featured a seemingly OBVIOUS moment where he sees Rebecca's picture and Holli seems to OBVIOUSLY brush off his inquiry about the OBVIOUSLY placed GIANT pic of Rebecca. Isn't it OBVIOUS? That Rebecca's dad is really Michael Steadman? (Sorry, that was a little inside for you boomer Thirtysomething fans.) So, what I mean is, Ken Olin is OBVIOUSLY her dad, right? Or is he? I venture to say that we'll all be kept wondering about this for awhile. I love a good red herring. Yum.

Meanwhile, over on October Road, we've been teased for a few weeks with Eddie Latekka's seemingly BIG SECRET in the ads. "We gotta tell him". "I have something to tell you and you aren't gonna like it". Whatever the BIG SECRET is, the tv people sure want us to think it's something huge. Is Nick Garrett really Sam's father? They've made it SEEM like that all season. OR, in a shocking plot twist, do they want us to think Eddie Latekka's the dad? And who exactly is the "THEY" that will be writing all this stuff given the strike??!

I digress.

I don't know who Rebecca's dad is. I don't know who Sam's dad is. But one thing I DO know is that babies sure are a groovy plot device. Remember how shocked you were when Rachel on Friends turned out to be the preggers one?

Listen, as long as there are movies and television, there will be plots spun around babies. Fake babies, kidnapped babies, lost babies, wanting a baby...but let's be honest, it's those mysterious baby daddies that always get us.

This means YOU, Darth Vader.