Grey Area

*Spoilers Galore!*

When I settled in to watch the LOST finale, I knew I was probably in for some disappointment. I have been lamenting the general lost art of the finale all week, and was actually pleasantly surprised when I tuned in to watch the Grey's Anatomy season ender the other night. With Grey's I got 2 hours of heart-stopping, Dallas-style shoot 'em up drama.

Well, I was psyched to have a series deliver the goods...until Grey's decided to wrap it all up in neat little bow with no cliffhangers to mess with my summer. And so I whined about that. Careful what you wish for...I could use a bow or too from Lost.

But, enough about Grey's. You don't care about that. When you get to the office, no one's going to be talking about McDreamy. Instead, I see a serious backlash comin' at those producers with more fervor than that smoke monster.

Don't get me wrong. I love when finales piss people off. I defended The Soprano's for weeks. Seinfeld...years. But this lame ass ending?

Not so much.

It's not like I'm asking them to have installed Bob Newhart in the pulpit. But honestly, the only real Purgatory is that I wasted 6 years on this crap.

I wasn't expecting lots of answers. But how about...some? Any? So many questions...like....what happened to Jack's other wife - was she too busy with her "Modern Family"? Why did Ben go from creepiest bully EVER to biggest wuss this season? Why did I just sit through more commercials than content?

Also, I'm no churchie, but how come the killers (Kate, Sawyer, Sayid....) get to go to heaven?

Well, lots of people are embracing all this Heavenly Light mumbo jumbo. Good for them. As for me?

I'm still wondering why it was NOT PENNY'S BOAT. Maybe I'll find out in another life, brotha.

Who Knew?

Oh Grey's! How you keep me guessing.

*Spoilers*

Yes, I finally got to check out the finale (albeit by watching it On Demand where fast forward was disabled and I was FORCED to watch the ads. What desperate tactics, ABC!).

It's not exactly a big secret that T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl were likely headed out the door, but I have to admit, the George twist threw me for a loop. Not the Army twist - the second they rolled in the kid who wanted his leg chopped off, I just knew Georgie was headed to Iraq. But somehow, someway, I never saw it coming that John Doe was George. I had forgotten that George's nickname was 007, and so when Meredith exclaimed "Oh God!" upon realizing John Doe=George, I was all "What's going on?", in a really non-aware idiot way, kind of how I was years ago at the end of the Sixth Sense when the whole theater was gasping "Bruce Willis is dead!" and I'm kinda focused on how yummy peanut M&M's are with popcorn and not really catching the twist.

Anyhoo, kind of a cool twist, though I didn't so much...care.

As for Izzy...as I predicted, we ended with a "Will she or won't she make it?" scene, complete with monitor shot. Told ya so!



I will probably still watch next season, but Shonda Rhimes better pull a rabbit out of her hat because this show seems to have jumped the shark around the time Izzy cut Denny's LVAD wire. Shonda's got her work cut out for her, because I think we've used up all the Seattle Grace employees-as-patients we can handle. Perhaps not so shockingly, I have some requests.

Please give Meredith and Derek something to do, other than getting fake-married.

And please, no more fake Denny.

And please, please, no more fake Burke...I'm talking to you, weirdo, emotionally unavailable Christina Yang love interest fake-killer guy. Ew.

Finale Fever

I'm not sure why I always find myself traveling every finale week, but here I am again, away from home, and away from my trusty TV. My DVR is currently holding my finale episode of Grey's Anatomy hostage while I try and avoid any spoilers until my return. Just one more day until I finally see (or don't see) what becomes of Katherine Heigl.

Speaking of *spoilers*, here's a few comin' at ya, so beware in case you, too, have a DVR holding your beloved season-ender hostage.






BTW, I should mention that I didn't even bother writing about the Brothers and Sisters finale before I left because it was just so damn boring. No one in peril, no freaky fires, no more William Walker relatives...nuthin'. Just a hint that maybe that girl who used to be Justin's sister (but is now, ew, his fiance) may secretly be nutzo. Yawn. No, I don't care if Rob Lowe and Calista Flockhart's characters are or are not together, or if Calista/Kitty/whoever hooks up with that totally vanilla guy from the park.

Now, I did manage to squeeze in Desperate Housewives while I was away and...well, that was some decent finale-ing. Not mind blowing stuff, mind you, but I give it a solid B, which brings us to, of course...

The Good Lynette's surprise pregnancy? Priceless. And, I love the idea of Bree with Karl (Richard Burgi is so great as a slimeball, and I'm still catching up with his character and the goings-on at Harper's Island. More on that soon). I hope to see more of their dance next season. Very Sam and Diane-ish.

The Bad RE: Carlos's niece coming to live with Gaby and Carlos. I dunno, I mean... the random relative (or fake relative, who knows) that comes to live in order to shake things up? Isn't that sort of a been-there-done-that plot device? Haven't we been doing this since the arrival of cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch?? Snoozy.

The Cliffhanger I am so glad we have (hopefully) seen the last of Dave. Man that guy was creepy. And nice job, Desperate Housewives, with the "Who did Mike marry?" tease. Dear lord, I hope it's not Katherine. There has not been a couple with this little chemistry since Mr. and Mrs. Roper.

Now, the only cliffhanger HERE is whether or not I force myself to sit through The Bachelorette premiere tonight...

It's Not Brain Surgery

Ok, actually, it is.

*spoilers*

Maybe it was the exhaustion of clearing out all the clutter on my DVR from weeks of backlog, or maybe I'm just a hopeless sap (probably), but despite my frequent dissatisfaction with Grey's in recent seasons, I loved the Izzie "twist" wedding on the heels of her recent brain tumor. No, I wasn't exactly SHOCKED, but I kind of loved all the old school drama, and cried like a little girl who just got cut from her softball team. (Ok, FINE, that did happen to me. Softball is scary!)

But here's the thing...is there really anything left to wrap up in a finale? Aren't we like, done now for the summer?

Well, regardless, two hours are comin' at ya on Thursday, and here's what they are going to fill it with, based on the official press materials:

Izzie contemplates a risky surgery to save her life I predict a cliffhanging "Will she or won't she make it?" end, complete with requisite shot of flat-lining heart monitor. Duh.

Mark is ready to take his relationship with Lexie to the next level I don't think I've cared about a couple this little since Brandon dated that annoying reporter girl on 90210.

George delivers stunning news to Bailey, sending shockwaves throughout the hospital This poor dude has had nothing to do for months. Sounds like he's moving on, though who knows? Maybe he's going go on a shooting spree or something. That'd sure liven things up for his storyline. If he isn't leaving, he needs something to elevate him beyond a poor man's Dr. Carter from ER.

As for Meredith and Derek, they have really become the Annoyingtons, haven't they? I have no idea if they are getting married on Thursday, but they need something new to do, too. Give Derek a long lost child, or make the chief Meredith's REAL dad. Something.

One thing's for sure - medical dramas are STILL all the rage after all these years. NBC just announced not one but TWO new medical shows for fall.

Is it wrong that I'm starting to miss ER a little bit?

State of the Union

Hey, if the prez can do a little media blitz, why can't I?

I am not gonna lie, I'm woefully behind on my DVR. Like maxing out at 88% and starting to sweat it. The job that actually pays me (unlike this one) is sucking away all my time, and actually, my life, too.

It's bad when I have no time for TV. Recession jobs sure are a bitch.

I'm feverishly trying to delete and catch up. It's not helping the space issue that I have never been able to figure out how to get my DVR to tape Oprah just once a day, so her damn AHA moments are an extra jam up on the DVR superhighway.

Anyhoo, here's where I'm at:

Lost Still love it. Still genius. Still have no clue what's going on.

Desperate Housewives No one talks about this show anymore. Remember the good old days when everyone was talking smack about Teri Hatcher trying to hog the spotlight? It was a little fun, even if I never believed it. The show's still trucking along with some good eps, though I'm pretty sure Marcia Cross would win the Botox faceoff if she took on Nicole Kidman.

Put. The. Needle. Down.

ER Woefully behind on watching this. I snuck in the Clooney episode but there's like 3-ish episodes more looming that I have to cram in before the finale. Why do I feel like no one is having ER finale parties? Should I throw one? Bring your own CBC Chem 20 - stat!

Grey's Anatomy Just sat down to watch what I believe is last week's episode. Is that an Elvira stripe in Patrick Dempsey's hair? Is that meant to communicate McDreamy's angst?

How I Met Your Mother More Barney. Less Ted. Please?

And speaking of Ted, I still haven't checked out that new show, Better Off Ted. Oh the DVR pressure!!

Not Feeling the Love

I was marginally excited for the new CBS show, "The Ex List", even though that girl in it bugs me for some reason. It's not that I have anything against Elizabeth Reaser. She did a fine job as the fake-amnesia gal with a new plastic surgery face on Grey's, but maybe it's because that was supposed to be her fake face on Grey's that I can't accept it as her actual face now.

And if you don't watch Grey's Anatomy, now you don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Sorry.

Anyhoo, I am usually a sucker for any kind of schmaltzy crap, and with the underlying premise being that this chick is looking for love, I figured it's gotta be kinda good? Right? Unfortunately, it's kinda not.

The biggest problem with this show is that it's an hour. Which is about 45 minutes longer than it should be. An hour doesn't really work for this sorta sitcommy format. Oh, and then there's the other thing.

It's not funny.

Which brings me to my other lament. We need more FUNNY in the world! Sure, there's a few gems - 30 Rock, hurry up and come back! And thank you Barney Stinson for doing the unthinkable and erasing the memory of Doogie Howser! - But, I miss when the channels were flush with laffers that made us all happy. I wanna sit in Central Perk and drink coffee. I wanna go to a place where everybody knows my name. I want Charles in Charge of meeeeeeee.........

I'm just saying, can't there be more funny? The world is a scary place right now, and we need to laugh. What we DON'T need is any more investigations of crimes. We don't need to see any more operations. Basically, we don't need any more angsty anything.

If I want angst, I'll just watch more debates. Come to think of it, I take that back. Maybe that's where all the laughs are.

In sickness and in health

Tonight, ER, that long, long, lonnnnnnnng running series about that hospital set in Chicago sets its sights on going out in style. It's the start of the 15th and final (no, really!) season of the series that launched a thousand Caesar haircuts, Clooney-style.

That seemingly teflon-coated hospital has seen more guest stars check in than the Love Boat, and as this season begins, Angela Bassett muscles her way in as a doc with a - wait for it - troubled past.

I, for one, hope all these docs and their troubled pasts go out with some class. Now, yes I know we alllllllll want Georgie-poo to come back to say goodbye, but let's be honest....if he didn't show up for Mark Greene's funeral, it ain't gonna happen. But, who knows? Even Anthony Edwards is coming back for one episode, despite his brain tumor death.

God bless the inventor of flashbacks and dream sequences.

Anyhoo, that cast sure has changed since 1994. Some arrivals have been good (hellooooooo John Stamos), some have been bad (sorry Scott Grimes/Dr. Archie Morris, you will always be annoying to me) and some have just plain vanished (where ARE you Rick Rossovitch, aka Tag, the dude Carol Hathaway ditched for Doug?).

I will admit, even I strayed for a few seasons in the middle there, but it's been pretty damn good in the last year or two. So, if your DVR can stand it, that's THREE hours of doctor-palooza tonight (lest you forget the 2 hour season premiere of Grey's).

It could be good for what ails ya.

Blondes Don't Always Have More Fun

Grey's Anatomy's Katherine Heigl apparently withdrew herself from Emmy nomination consideration because, and I sadly quote, '“I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention,” she said. “In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials.”

Now, I'm not sayin' that Grey's has bowled me over this season, either, but homegirl, learn to keep your mouth SHUT! You had no problem cashing those checks, right? Did you give those back?

Rumor has it that blondie's got her eye on the big screen and is trying to get out of her tv contract. Oh David Caruso Katherine. Don't you remember what happens to ego-possessed blondes who leave the shows that make them a star?

I'm sure Shelley Long would be happy to sit down with you and give you some pointers.

But, you're right. You belong on the big screen. Let us stroll down memory lane and remember your movie career pre-Grey's Anatomy, shall we?

You were like, TOTALLY awesome in "Bride of Chucky". Killer even.

And, remember your star turn in the TV movie prequel of "Romy and Michelle"? (Seriously, this movie had a prequel?)

My fave though has to be "Bug Buster". I love the simple plot outline "Killer cockroaches swarm a small lakeside community." This has got to be your golden ticket out. Now THAT screams prequel.











I suggest you clean up your act QUICK, girl. Or you just might find yourself selling Thighmasters to get you through those inevitable upcoming lean times.

Missing in Action

*SPOILERS*

I'm not sure why I've written 'spoilers', because the truth is, this past week of finales was lacking much of anything to spoil.

First, though, even worse news: after a week of no American TV except an episode of 'Charmed' in French, I returned home from Paris to discover my cable box had fried and no shows had taped.

No shows had taped. NO SHOWS HAD TAPED. NO. SHOWS. HAD. TAPED!

After the emotional equivalent of breathing into a paper bag and reenacting the scene from Sex and the City when Miranda's TIVO stops working, I came to terms with my plight and tracked down most of the shows I had missed online, save for the American Idol finale (other than in pieces).








Whatever happened to cliffhangers???! How I Met Your Mother was ok, and sure, I guess Ted proposing and Barney secretly being in love with Robin seems exciting, but I just didn't have that "I cannnnnnnn't wait all summer" feelin'.

And then there's Grey's.

I just don't know that Grey's will ever be what it once was and that makes me sad. Yes, I thought Justin Chambers' Alex performance was a standout, and I look forward to buying the song they used toward the end ("The Quest" by Bryn Christopher) when it comes out June 9th.

But where are the weddings gone bad? The secret babies? The shootings?

Now that's what I really look forward to in MY finales, and I felt cheated. And that's another thing. Where's the cheatin' heart kind of love triangles? At least last week's ER finale blew up some stuff and possibly killed off a character or two. Now THAT's a finale.

Well, there's still Thursday. I just know I can find what's missing...on LOST.

Relationships Worse Than Yours

In honor of bringing all of the Valentine's Day celebrating to a close, I bring you this bonus post.

Feeling blue that your partner couldn't even manage to buy you carnations from your local deli? Does your romantic night out involve the phrase "Do you wanna supersize that?" [I'm talking dinner. Get your mind out of the gutter. Or don't. No judgments.]

Buck up little campers! It could be worse. You could be one half of one of THESE couples...

Jack and Kate on LOST. Ok, technically they're not a couple. But, whoever ends up with this dude has a built-in future that involves him growing a gross beard, being drunk all the time and wanting to jump off a bridge. Not fun.




Ross and Rachel on FRIENDS. 'On a break' my ass. Cheater.

















Kelly & Dylan, Kelly & Brandon on 90210. Three words of caution to would-be Kelly suitors: "I choose me".






Izzy & Denny on GREY'S ANATOMY. Whenever a defibrillator figures heavily into your courtship, it can't be good.



Enjoy your overpriced dinner tonight!
Mwah!

DVR Binge

Whatever you do, don't go anywhere tonight. Instead, prepare to get drunk with new content...but sadly, when you awaken tomorrow with your t.v. hangover, there is scant left to look forward to as the writer's strike forges on.

But, buck up little campers, there's no time like the present! Grab that remote and get comfy as you watch new episodes of 30 Rock, Grey's Anatomy, ER (yes, dammit, watch ER, it's good! I swear! Last week they even un-earthed old character Jeanie Boulet...who in real life ran off to join Tina Turner's tour), and for a little fluff (ok, major fluff), Big Shots.

Plus, there's still lots-o-reality shows truckin' on. VH1's got the premiere of Celebrity Rehab, which sounds made up but is a real show with marginal celebs. I got a sneak peak at Episode 1, and to see what's become of Jeff Conaway (Kenickie from Grease) is tragic. Don't know that I can stomach this one. I think they should've called this show "Schadenfreude"...though perhaps they're saving that moniker for a Britney/Dr. Phil face off.

I'm going to give Celebrity Apprentice another shot, but honestly, besides Gene Simmons and that Baldwin brother, who the hell ARE these people??

Actually, Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Rehab both have a similar problem: when a show needs to put the word 'celebrity' in the title, it probably means they don't have anyone too major, know what I mean? Dancing with the Stars, I'm also talkin' to you!

R.I.P. Golden Globes.

Putting their Eggs in Trump's Basket

For a second you probably thought Rosie and the Donald were having a love child. Now THERE'S a reality show in the making! But no, that's not what we're talking about here.

These are desperate times...at the networks. As the strike roars on, the original programs are almost all gone. So, NBC isn't screwing around. They long for the days when Seinfeld and Friends ruled the roost instead of clinging to Howie Mandel as their ticket out of bad-ratings-ville, but, let's face it, reality shows are now their bread and butter (this means you Biggest Loser!).

Actually, maybe bread and butter is the wrong metaphor here, but you get the gist.

Scrappy NBC announced Celebrity Apprentice was set to debut Jan 10th, so ABC thew up their last new Grey's Anatomy episode against it to well, excuse the phrase, cock block NBC.

Within hours, NBC moved up Celebrity Apprentice to January 3rd so their competition would be repeats. I love this! Good old fashioned network wars. In fact, by the time you read this, the schedule could've changed AGAIN. Whatcha gonna doooooooo, Donald, cry??!?!?!

In this corner, the Peacock. In the other corner, a Mouse.

Who is YOUR money on?

What's up, Doc?

I've spent so much time watching medical shows over the years that I could probably get a job as a...well, candy striper, at least. I know ER has been around for 100 seasons but, I'm telling you, just because at this age they might wanna shift from the ER to the geriatics ward doesn't mean you shouldn't watch it!

There's one reason to watch right now: Maura Tierney.

*Spoilers*

Maura's (MARRIED) character Abby Lockhart has hit the bottle again and this week's episode featured her hitting rock bottom. After too many cocktails, Abby winds up in bed with Stanley Tucci's Dr. Moretti. I mean, after her performace, I felt like I was the one who had gone on a bender and (accidentally when I was drunk) cheated on my husband with Stanley Tucci. Luka is back next week, so it's gonna be good. Add it to your list of (relationshippy-posing-as) medical shows, if you have one. We'll have to forgive ER for stealing the same storyline that Grey's started last season (on Grey's, George fails his boards, now we got that annoying Morris character on ER failing his boards).

Meanwhile, Grey's is bound to pick up now that it's sweeps (strike notwithstanding). It's meandering along, but the Derek/Meredith heat of yesterday has become ho-hum. I'm hanging in, but please give Patrick Dempsey something to do! By the way, did you know Patrick Dempsey was a finalist once upon a time for House (speaking of medical shows)? I digress...the danger of watching the E! True Hollywood Story of Patrick Dempsey while trying to post.

Private Practice isn't so bad. It's basically Grey's Anatomy Lite. You're not going to a high off it, but it ain't gonna hurt you, either.

So I don't watch House OR Scrubs. Sue me for malpractice. All I'm saying is, check out (actually, check INTO) ER. See how Abby is operating in a most disturbing (but fun for us to watch!) way:

Oh Deer

*Grey's Anatomy Spoilers*

I am worried.

I love Grey's Anatomy. I love it for the palpable angst that used to be present every time Derek, Meredith and Addison rode an elevator. But now, Addison rides talking elevators in another hospital. Oh, wait, they took that stupid element out of "Private Practice"....but either way she's gone.

Anyway, at the heart of any great drama, we really need the 'will they or won't they make it' of the core couple, in this case, Meredith and Derek. But the writers got them together too quick, then panicked and now I'm so confused why they 'broke up' in the first place. So I spent most of the first episode trying to remember if/why they broke up. I still can't really say, but I guess it has something to do with Meredith's inability to be normal. Or something.

Further bumming me out is the introduction of the new interns and Meredith's sister. I really hope all of these generic new characters aren't a permanent fixture, and yes that includes Meredith's sister. Maybe like Meredith said in her VO...I just don't like change.

But, worst of all is that the writers [I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Grey's writers, please don't hold this against me someday when I beg you for a job] spent the whole first episode trying soooo hard to write quippy dialogue and overblown inspiring monologues that they forgot to deal with the heart of the matter. And, I'm sorry, that Izzy saving a deer storyline? Did I miss it? When the deer jumped up did it ACTUALLY jump over a shark?

Sigh. I don't wanna hate on Grey's. I just miss the angst. Previews for next week do hold out hope for me with the Izzy/George/Callie triangle.

And, it's not ALL bad. I did really enjoy Mark Sloan's doe-eyed man-love speech to Derek.

That made me feel like Grey's Anatomy has still got some game.