Monday Night Madness

Yes, yes, I watched the much-hyped premiere of Two and a Half Men. Sure, they did a good job with the stunt casting (*spoiler alert*) but mostly, I thought this Sheen-less Two and a Half Men was, well, kind of dull.

First, bringing back every noteworthy floozy Charlie had ever dated was a little fun...but I couldn't help but think this 'greatest hits' of casting stunt was just stolen from Seinfeld's finale.

Next, bringing in John Stamos was probably the highlight of the 1/2 hour (and really? 1/2 hour? With all the bloated 3-4 hour competition shows out there, Chuck Lorre decided to bang this out in 22 minutes after commercials while the tired How I Met Your Mother premiere was a full hour? I digress...). Anyway, with Stamos at the door, I got excited! Who would show up next???

...And then, Dharma and Greg? Really? While I realize they may hearken back to an old Chuck Lorre era, the 10 year old sitcom was hardly iconic enough to warrant a cameo. Stick to the Uncle Jesse appearances, thank you very much.

Finally, Ashton Kutcher was sort of FINE as the man-child he always plays. He's the anti-Charlie, which was actually the easy way to go, and the path of least resistance. Why not make everyone nuts and pull a Bewitched - just re-cast Charlie and pretend it's all the same? Or bring back Charlie later in a Newhart "What a weird dream" scenario - I'd head in that direction for sweeps, if I ruled the tv world.

Oh well.

Moving on, I won't bore you with the How I Met Your Mother? recap if you haven't seen it. But...no, they didn't meet the Mother, and yes, they are still dragging it out.

The surprise of the night for me was "Two Broke Girls". The laugh-tracky old school feeling sitcom was surprisingly good. Though I couldn't help but wonder if they dreamed up the premise while watching old Facts of Life re-runs late one night (I swear these two girls are modern day Blair and Jo retreads), the writing was sharp in the hands of Sex and the City's Michael Patrick King.

Why is it, by the way, that the wise-cracking tough girl is always brunette, and the richie rich gal is always blonde? The aforementioned Blair and Jo, Cheers' Diane and Rebecca (or for that matter, Diane and Carla)... I'm sure there are more.

Either way, so far, this brunette/blonde combo is having the most fun.

State of the Union

Hey, if the prez can do a little media blitz, why can't I?

I am not gonna lie, I'm woefully behind on my DVR. Like maxing out at 88% and starting to sweat it. The job that actually pays me (unlike this one) is sucking away all my time, and actually, my life, too.

It's bad when I have no time for TV. Recession jobs sure are a bitch.

I'm feverishly trying to delete and catch up. It's not helping the space issue that I have never been able to figure out how to get my DVR to tape Oprah just once a day, so her damn AHA moments are an extra jam up on the DVR superhighway.

Anyhoo, here's where I'm at:

Lost Still love it. Still genius. Still have no clue what's going on.

Desperate Housewives No one talks about this show anymore. Remember the good old days when everyone was talking smack about Teri Hatcher trying to hog the spotlight? It was a little fun, even if I never believed it. The show's still trucking along with some good eps, though I'm pretty sure Marcia Cross would win the Botox faceoff if she took on Nicole Kidman.

Put. The. Needle. Down.

ER Woefully behind on watching this. I snuck in the Clooney episode but there's like 3-ish episodes more looming that I have to cram in before the finale. Why do I feel like no one is having ER finale parties? Should I throw one? Bring your own CBC Chem 20 - stat!

Grey's Anatomy Just sat down to watch what I believe is last week's episode. Is that an Elvira stripe in Patrick Dempsey's hair? Is that meant to communicate McDreamy's angst?

How I Met Your Mother More Barney. Less Ted. Please?

And speaking of Ted, I still haven't checked out that new show, Better Off Ted. Oh the DVR pressure!!

Missing in Action

*SPOILERS*

I'm not sure why I've written 'spoilers', because the truth is, this past week of finales was lacking much of anything to spoil.

First, though, even worse news: after a week of no American TV except an episode of 'Charmed' in French, I returned home from Paris to discover my cable box had fried and no shows had taped.

No shows had taped. NO SHOWS HAD TAPED. NO. SHOWS. HAD. TAPED!

After the emotional equivalent of breathing into a paper bag and reenacting the scene from Sex and the City when Miranda's TIVO stops working, I came to terms with my plight and tracked down most of the shows I had missed online, save for the American Idol finale (other than in pieces).








Whatever happened to cliffhangers???! How I Met Your Mother was ok, and sure, I guess Ted proposing and Barney secretly being in love with Robin seems exciting, but I just didn't have that "I cannnnnnnn't wait all summer" feelin'.

And then there's Grey's.

I just don't know that Grey's will ever be what it once was and that makes me sad. Yes, I thought Justin Chambers' Alex performance was a standout, and I look forward to buying the song they used toward the end ("The Quest" by Bryn Christopher) when it comes out June 9th.

But where are the weddings gone bad? The secret babies? The shootings?

Now that's what I really look forward to in MY finales, and I felt cheated. And that's another thing. Where's the cheatin' heart kind of love triangles? At least last week's ER finale blew up some stuff and possibly killed off a character or two. Now THAT's a finale.

Well, there's still Thursday. I just know I can find what's missing...on LOST.

Must See Monday

After all of these weeks of suffering, Premiere Week is finally here. Thank God. I almost had to start reading.

First up, ABC's dishing up some serious reality tv. Dancing with the Stars is on at 8pm. I just can't commit this season. Too many hours! There's the show, then the recap of the show, then the recap of the recap...my DVR just cannot accommodate it all. I mean, of course I'll peak at it. Gotta see what the latest 90210-er is up to, how Scary Spice fares...but of course the REAL reason I'll tune in a little is to see...Albert Reed.

I mean I'll tune in to see WHO Albert Reed is. Maybe the title should be "Dancing With SOME Stars".

If you're not too cha cha'd out, you can watch the 87th season of The Bachelor at 9:30pm. This season, it appears they've drafted a college dropout/bar owner as The Bachelor. Remember when they'd at least pretend to make the guy seem rich and important? Note to the producers: Bring back The Bachelorette! Your target audience is desperate single 30-something women, and they (ok, we) don't want to see some guy choose some 22-year old drunk idiot to be his "wife".

But... we totally wanna see a bunch of hot guys competing and live vicariously through the gal that gets to choose him.

Enough with the reality wasteland. Just make sure you watch "How I Met Your Mother" at 8pm on CBS. If you weren't already watching the last 2 seasons, you were missing out. It is - wait for it - awesome.