Survival of the Fittest

We're almost half way there, people! Super premiere week rolls on and we have our very first ousted dancer on Dancing with the Stars.

*Spoilers*

Much to my chagrin, it was not "When a Man Loves a Woman" crooner/Nicolette Sheridan lover Michael Bolton that went home, but instead, they hassled the Hoff! That's right, David Hasselhoff, beloved Knight Rider rider/Baywatcher/German pop star David Hasselhoff was sent home. A travesty of justice, voters!

You must be the same people that kept Kate Gosselin around longer than Shannen Doherty. Shame on you.

Movin' on.

Tonight, ABC's "Modern Family" is back and I couldn't be more excited. But before that, "Better with You" premieres and I'm cautiously optimistic. The reviews have been sort of meh, but then again all the critics lovvvvvvved Lone Star and the headline in my inbox this morning said it might be canceled after one episode.

Clearly, no one knows anything.

Anyhoo, "Better With You" follows three couples in different love stages: newly engaged after a few weeks, dating for 9 years, and married for 35 years. Sure, the premise could get old (how many living together/Goldie Hawn + Kurt Russell jokes can they make? And they can't even dive into Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins territory anymore!) but I'm a sucker for comedy so I'm willing to check it out.

Also tonight is NBC's premiere of the new J.J. Abrams spy drama, "Undercovers" Not sure if I'm still bitter at J.J. for "Lost" or feeling oversaturated on the spy front, but this show looks kind of lame to me. So it'll probably be a smash hit.

"The Whole Truth" is yet ANOTHER courtroom drama on ABC, this time promising to show both sides of the case to 'keep you guessing' about the outcome. Didn't we kinda do that on "The Practice" like 10 years ago? Anyway, it's got Maura Tierney and Rob Morrow, so there's that.

Last but not least, Survivor actually started last week, but if you want to see Nicaragua, a whole lot of trailer park trash and random contestant, ex-coach Jimmy Johnson compete for a million bucks, set the DVR to CBS.

Who will YOU be voting off tonight?

Legal Eagles

I know we've got a long, hopefully hot, summer before the fall shows hit, but it is my duty to keep you informed so you can plan ahead.

CBS has a duo of legal shows debuting, and the jury's out on both. For your consideration....

BLUE BLOODS A 'law enforcement family' drama from Sopranos producers, starring Tom Selleck, Bridget Moynahan and Donnie Wahlberg.

Pros It's from Sopranos producers. Everyone loves Tom Selleck. And who doesn't love a Wahlberg?

Cons Is it just me, or has Bridget Moynahan cornered the market on playing pinchy characters?

Worrisome that in this trailer, when listing why the show is exciting, Tom Selleck says "it has plots".

Let's at least hope he's right.



THE DEFENDERS Two Vegas lawyers bend the rules in this buddy comedy. Starring Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell.

Pros The trailer seems to indicate that it has that 80's Beverly Hills Cop vibe to it, if you're into that sort of thing.

I've sort of always loved Jim Belushi ever since he played Rob Lowe's obnoxious sidekick in "About Last Night', no matter that he's kind of the king of the kitschy.

Plus, I went to a taping of "According to Jim" once and he pulled me out of the audience and serenaded me. True story.

Cons Is it possible to watch Jerry O'Connell and not think about how he got Rebecca Romijn from John Stamos?

Show me the funny!

Man oh man, have I gotta get a job. The other day, I spent a full 20 minutes engaged in a discussion of the subtle differences between two shades of nail polish: do I choose "Berry Hard" or "Lacy, not Racy"? Hmmm. Somewhere in the world is the person whose job it is to come up with these nail polish names. Maybe a new career for me?

As usual, I digress.

So, with not much to do but job hunt and try to avoid news about the economy, I have made it my mission to find more funny, because frankly, watching Suze Orman tell me how totally screwed I am is Halloween-level scary.

And so I (and I'm guessing YOU) really need a pick me up.

First, I snuck a peek at the season premiere of 30 Rock. Yes, I couldn't wait. Kind of like how I used to always find the Christmas presents my mother hid every year. Seriously, mom, no other hiding locations besides the bathroom closet?



Anyway, 30 Rock is back! I was worried Tina Fey wouldn't be able to shake the Sarah Palin persona, but no need to doubt the fabulous Fey. So, if you are in need of a little FUN yourself, click here and sneak a peek, too, or you can watch it live on NBC, Thursday at 9:30pm (how retro of you).

And speaking of retro...it's rare that I suddenly get into a show so late in the game, but I have recently started watching and loving The New Adventures of Old Christine. I thought it was just going to be more recycled Elaine bits (see: Frasier), but this show is so much more. Sure, it's a bit of Julia being, well, Julia, but the writing is sharp, biting, and pushing boundaries. Check it out, Wednesdays on CBS at 8pm.

Now, I was going to wind up this little ditty by telling you I was going to give "The Ex List" another chance. I am still in search of more fun, and several people recently told me they LOVE it. Alas, happy-seekers, CBS has pulled the plug.

Well, kids, look on the bright side. Sweeps is just around the corner. Let the celebrity publicity stunts begin!!!

Swing Out Sister

I finally got around to watching the premiere of Swingtown that had been beckoning to me from my DVR. If you hadn't heard, CBS just rolled out this new series about swinging couples in the 70's.

It's so nice to have former Melrose Placer Grant Show back on television. I was wondering what he had been up to, and a quick spin through Wikipedia revealed that a few years ago he married someone named Pollyanna Macintosh. This sounds to me ironically like one of those porn names you come up with by using a Disney character and your street name.

Or whatever that game is.

Anyhoo, Swingtown didn't really excite me, but I did notice the following random, and not so random things:

1. The creator of this show realllllly likes Boogie Nights. So much so that he borrowed some of the soundtrack and cast fake-Julianne Moore, Molly Parker, in one of the leads.

2. Sometimes, it was so self-consciously trying to pepper this pop culture-palooza with little reminders that we are in the 70's that it was distracting. She's drinking a TAB. I GET IT.
.
3. And sometimes, I suspect some writers with a bawdy sense of humor wanted to test the limits of what they could sneak past the censors. Like when someone ordered a Harvery Walbanger. Or when one of the characters was watching $20,000 Pyramid...and the clue was "Things that are Spread".

Ahem.

There was also a montage at the end that lingered on a fried egg image just long enough for me to wonder if perhaps it was yet another pop culture homage, this time to the famous "This is your brain on drugs" PSA's. Then again, that was an 80's thing, so maybe it's just me.

Well, Swingtown won't fry your brain, but it might show you how to be over easy.

Must See Monday

After all of these weeks of suffering, Premiere Week is finally here. Thank God. I almost had to start reading.

First up, ABC's dishing up some serious reality tv. Dancing with the Stars is on at 8pm. I just can't commit this season. Too many hours! There's the show, then the recap of the show, then the recap of the recap...my DVR just cannot accommodate it all. I mean, of course I'll peak at it. Gotta see what the latest 90210-er is up to, how Scary Spice fares...but of course the REAL reason I'll tune in a little is to see...Albert Reed.

I mean I'll tune in to see WHO Albert Reed is. Maybe the title should be "Dancing With SOME Stars".

If you're not too cha cha'd out, you can watch the 87th season of The Bachelor at 9:30pm. This season, it appears they've drafted a college dropout/bar owner as The Bachelor. Remember when they'd at least pretend to make the guy seem rich and important? Note to the producers: Bring back The Bachelorette! Your target audience is desperate single 30-something women, and they (ok, we) don't want to see some guy choose some 22-year old drunk idiot to be his "wife".

But... we totally wanna see a bunch of hot guys competing and live vicariously through the gal that gets to choose him.

Enough with the reality wasteland. Just make sure you watch "How I Met Your Mother" at 8pm on CBS. If you weren't already watching the last 2 seasons, you were missing out. It is - wait for it - awesome.

Rhymes with Zucker

My blogger-vation is over. Did ya miss me?

For the uninitiated, Jeff Zucker is President and CEO of NBC Universal. His claim to fame, besides his rapid ascension up the tv ranks, is his PT Barnum-like knack for promotion.

These days, though, NBC is sorely lagging behind in the Must See TV category, and their Web Promotion isn't doing them any favors. As we pass these long summer days with some bad reality tv and [gasp] outdoor recreation, at least we can start preparing our Tivo's for the new shows, right? Well, sort of. Go to ABC's site: it's slick and easy to navigate and you can view previews for the fall. CBS has a fun, interactive Fall Showcase, sponsored by Tivo. But NBC?

For shame, for shame.

NBC's preview link is easy to miss, but if you find it, the link is to a TWENTY-FOUR minute fluff promo [read: we have no shows to promote] hosted by JJ Abrams favorite charity hire, Greg Grunberg.

I was still sympathetic. It must be hard to know your best days are behind you. So, I was happy to go down memory lane and visit that golden age when I saw a link to the NBC "Vault". It promised you could "relive the memories of your favorite NBC shows". Excited to indulge in some retro viewing, I was ready for links to Cheers, Family Ties...hell, even ALF! But, no. The links were to those other classics...The Apprentice and Fear Factor. Are you freaking kidding me? I feel so betrayed.

But, what else can you expect from a network whose future depends on John Stamos on the 87th season of ER. Get it together Zucker! You're also forcing the Today Show (the show that launched your career) to cannibalize itself by adding ANOTHER hour? How many makeovers can one show possibly do a week!

Oh well. In the meantime, enjoy a preview of ABC's upcoming answer to Sex and the City. And yes, in a weird twist of irony that IS the girl that played Ross' girlfriend now playing a lesbian.