Show me the funny!

Man oh man, have I gotta get a job. The other day, I spent a full 20 minutes engaged in a discussion of the subtle differences between two shades of nail polish: do I choose "Berry Hard" or "Lacy, not Racy"? Hmmm. Somewhere in the world is the person whose job it is to come up with these nail polish names. Maybe a new career for me?

As usual, I digress.

So, with not much to do but job hunt and try to avoid news about the economy, I have made it my mission to find more funny, because frankly, watching Suze Orman tell me how totally screwed I am is Halloween-level scary.

And so I (and I'm guessing YOU) really need a pick me up.

First, I snuck a peek at the season premiere of 30 Rock. Yes, I couldn't wait. Kind of like how I used to always find the Christmas presents my mother hid every year. Seriously, mom, no other hiding locations besides the bathroom closet?



Anyway, 30 Rock is back! I was worried Tina Fey wouldn't be able to shake the Sarah Palin persona, but no need to doubt the fabulous Fey. So, if you are in need of a little FUN yourself, click here and sneak a peek, too, or you can watch it live on NBC, Thursday at 9:30pm (how retro of you).

And speaking of retro...it's rare that I suddenly get into a show so late in the game, but I have recently started watching and loving The New Adventures of Old Christine. I thought it was just going to be more recycled Elaine bits (see: Frasier), but this show is so much more. Sure, it's a bit of Julia being, well, Julia, but the writing is sharp, biting, and pushing boundaries. Check it out, Wednesdays on CBS at 8pm.

Now, I was going to wind up this little ditty by telling you I was going to give "The Ex List" another chance. I am still in search of more fun, and several people recently told me they LOVE it. Alas, happy-seekers, CBS has pulled the plug.

Well, kids, look on the bright side. Sweeps is just around the corner. Let the celebrity publicity stunts begin!!!

The Audacity of Hope

I am ready for a change.

The fall television season has been one big yawner. Sure, I'm tv-side for every debate and every Tina Fey-anything, but other than that, let's be honest: the state of the current tv season is kinda like the economy. It sucks!

Now, there are a few bright spots. Mad Men is still awesome, even if I have no idea what is going on since Don Draper/Dick Whitman wandered off to LA in what feels like one big acid trip. But that's over next week (don't kill the messenger) and I'll have just another big void to fill.

Brenda's off 90210. Brothers and Sisters has turned into a bunch of whiners and worse...Rob Lowe isn't even looking that hot anymore. And, last week's episode of How I Met Your Mother felt a little too 'very special episode' ish to me.

I finally watched last week's ER (you know, it's the LAST year! George Clooney isn't on anymore!) and I was so bored and saddened because they sent Abby Lockhart off with a whimper. Now, in defense of ER, while I was watching said episode, I was juggling facebooking, designing business cards AND eating the most fattening pasta ever. And feeling guilty for eating the most fattening pasta ever. But, from what I saw, it was a real snooze-fest, even if that lady from Facts of Life did play a patient (again).

But I digress. This is supposed to be about HOPE, and this is more depressing than an episode of In Treatment.

On the upside, 30 Rock is coming back in two weeks. We can let Tina Fey get back to doin' her thang as Liz Lemon and let Sarah Palin go back to spying on Russia.

And come January, besides hopefully some other, uh, noteworthy changes, we can all get back to watching LOST and seeing what they do next to shake up the space time continuum.

Yes we can.

Not Feeling the Love

I was marginally excited for the new CBS show, "The Ex List", even though that girl in it bugs me for some reason. It's not that I have anything against Elizabeth Reaser. She did a fine job as the fake-amnesia gal with a new plastic surgery face on Grey's, but maybe it's because that was supposed to be her fake face on Grey's that I can't accept it as her actual face now.

And if you don't watch Grey's Anatomy, now you don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Sorry.

Anyhoo, I am usually a sucker for any kind of schmaltzy crap, and with the underlying premise being that this chick is looking for love, I figured it's gotta be kinda good? Right? Unfortunately, it's kinda not.

The biggest problem with this show is that it's an hour. Which is about 45 minutes longer than it should be. An hour doesn't really work for this sorta sitcommy format. Oh, and then there's the other thing.

It's not funny.

Which brings me to my other lament. We need more FUNNY in the world! Sure, there's a few gems - 30 Rock, hurry up and come back! And thank you Barney Stinson for doing the unthinkable and erasing the memory of Doogie Howser! - But, I miss when the channels were flush with laffers that made us all happy. I wanna sit in Central Perk and drink coffee. I wanna go to a place where everybody knows my name. I want Charles in Charge of meeeeeeee.........

I'm just saying, can't there be more funny? The world is a scary place right now, and we need to laugh. What we DON'T need is any more investigations of crimes. We don't need to see any more operations. Basically, we don't need any more angsty anything.

If I want angst, I'll just watch more debates. Come to think of it, I take that back. Maybe that's where all the laughs are.

Pushing the (possibly only) Envelope

Is it wrong that I loved almost every second of the S.A.G. Awards? Is it because I haven't seen an awards show in awhile or was it really good?

Feel free to weigh in. Maybe it's because I agreed with (almost) every award. I knew it was going to be good when they started off by getting it right and giving the Sopranos the recognition they deserved.

I was so giddy from the speeches and all I decided to give out some awards of my own...

Missed opportunity of the night award: Alec Baldwin won for 30 Rock, but was MIA, so we didn't get to see him accept his richly deserved recognition by his peers and give (what I'm sure would've been) a great speech.

Which of course gave way to the...

Fakest smile of the night award: Jeremy Piven, who, right after LOSING to MIA Alec Baldwin, flashed those pearly whites only AFTER he realized the camera was on him.

Guy who made the girls (or at least, this one) swoon award : Javier Bardem, who for some reason can pull off that open shirt thing without looking cheesy. His genuine speech just made him hotter.

"I am definitely the only person on the planet who noticed this" award: THAT goes to me, for noticing that the very first clip in the Charles Durning Lifetime Achievement Award montage was from giant 1983 flop Twist of Fate, the ill-conceived John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John post-Grease re-pairing. Seriously? That's your choice to kick off the showcase of this talented actor's body of work, editor-person? Not Dog Day Afternoon? Not The Sting? Um, o.k., Twist of Fate. Whatever.

Speaking of Charles Durning...The "It's never too late to get it right, so get off your ass " Inspiration Award: It's a tie between both of these gentlemen who appeared at the awards:
1. Charles Durning - who didn't appear on screen till he was FORTY!
2. Mickey Rooney - who was married SEVEN times before meeting his current (and eighth) wife...who he's been married to for THIRTY years!

The "sure wish we'd submitted a different clip" award: people from Weeds, whose clip included Mary-Kate Olsen, less than a week after her name was splashed all over the headlines in connection with Heath Ledger's death.

And while we're on THAT subject...the "I guess we're not going to bother to re-edit the dead people montage in any respectful way and instead we're just gonna shove the Heath Ledger clip with no audio at the end after the fade to black when the music has stopped and the audience is wondering 'where's the Heath Ledger clip?' " award: editor-person that edited this montage...perhaps it's the same genius that cut together the Charles Durning piece? At least Daniel Day-Lewis paid tribute to Heath in his speech in a respectful way...even though I hate myself a little for letting the teeny-tiny cynic in my soul wonder a little bit if this was fake, especially since Daniel also talked about Heath on Oprah...and has said he didn't know him.

As Tom Cruise presented the last award of the evening, I longed for the days when I thought he was a hot movie star and not a crazy alien. I wonder if I will ever again be able to see him as anything other than a punchline.

Not to be, ya know, glib.

DVR Binge

Whatever you do, don't go anywhere tonight. Instead, prepare to get drunk with new content...but sadly, when you awaken tomorrow with your t.v. hangover, there is scant left to look forward to as the writer's strike forges on.

But, buck up little campers, there's no time like the present! Grab that remote and get comfy as you watch new episodes of 30 Rock, Grey's Anatomy, ER (yes, dammit, watch ER, it's good! I swear! Last week they even un-earthed old character Jeanie Boulet...who in real life ran off to join Tina Turner's tour), and for a little fluff (ok, major fluff), Big Shots.

Plus, there's still lots-o-reality shows truckin' on. VH1's got the premiere of Celebrity Rehab, which sounds made up but is a real show with marginal celebs. I got a sneak peak at Episode 1, and to see what's become of Jeff Conaway (Kenickie from Grease) is tragic. Don't know that I can stomach this one. I think they should've called this show "Schadenfreude"...though perhaps they're saving that moniker for a Britney/Dr. Phil face off.

I'm going to give Celebrity Apprentice another shot, but honestly, besides Gene Simmons and that Baldwin brother, who the hell ARE these people??

Actually, Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Rehab both have a similar problem: when a show needs to put the word 'celebrity' in the title, it probably means they don't have anyone too major, know what I mean? Dancing with the Stars, I'm also talkin' to you!

R.I.P. Golden Globes.

The '007 Trifecta

So I wanna fit in here in my inaugural year in blogger-ville, and everyone who is anyone ends the year with their faves list. I had to think about this. What were my favorite tv moments of 2007? What were those moments that made me go...did that really just happen?

Yes, these are the winners of the Watercooler Awards...or, to put it in a less politically correct way, I present to you, the WTF? Moments in Television of 2007.

**(And yes, these have spoilers, but if you haven't seen this by now you're never gonna!)**

#3 Flash Forward to Kate and Jack getting off the Island

Yes, Lost got off track, and even I admit that as next season looms, I've forgotten alot of the juicy details that I probably should be keeping track of to figure out this whole thing. But, one thing's for sure, I'm totally coming back to watch. We now know that Jack and Kate got off the island, but at whose expense? That's good stuff.


#2 Jack helps Tracy with therapy

Alec Baldwin as Jack 'role playing' the members of Tracy's family is everything I love about 30 Rock and more. Admit it, you watched and felt a little uncomfortable. Is he REALLY saying these things? This show gives me hope that the sitcom genre is not dead, just...better.


#1 The Sopranos Don't Stop Believin'

This finale of the Sopranos was one of the most brilliant endings in history. Didn't you yell at the holder of the remote in your house? What did you doooooo? Did the power go out? Love it or hate it, people are STILL talking about this...and that means great TV.


And don't worry, we've got plenty to look forward to in January of 2008 alone. Lost returns (I haven't missed castaways this much since Gilligan's Island went off the air). Celebrities go toe to toe on The Apprentice. I'm sorry, I meant "celebrities". And BOTH Sex and the City wannabe's, Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle are coming.

Happy New Year!!!!!

Wardrobe Malfunction

Oh dear. As if NBC doesn't have enough problems, early peeks at Lipstick Jungle's promos reveal that they are in need of a new wardrobe stylist, stat! The Sex and the City wannabe (there are so many this season) boasts Brooke Shields arguably as its biggest name. Not to discount Kim Raver from 24, or that girl (Lindsay Price) that played Steve's baby mama on 90210, but let's be honest, Brooke is a legend.

So why are they dressing her like a man...no, worse, like a woman in 1998????

Everything I've seen thus far has shown her in boxy man-suits that aren't sexy at all, but worse, these promo stills have her in [needle off the record]....LEATHER PANTS!!! This is a travesty even worse than the animal print shoes they all have on that are practically special ordered from the "slutty cliche wardrobe" section at Central Casting.

I don't mean to make it "Pick on NBC" week. After all, I think getting Jerry Seinfeld to guest star on the season premiere of 30 Rock is like, the best thing ever. Now if only I didn't have to wait till October.

Yadda yadda yadda...