Grey Area

*Spoilers Galore!*

When I settled in to watch the LOST finale, I knew I was probably in for some disappointment. I have been lamenting the general lost art of the finale all week, and was actually pleasantly surprised when I tuned in to watch the Grey's Anatomy season ender the other night. With Grey's I got 2 hours of heart-stopping, Dallas-style shoot 'em up drama.

Well, I was psyched to have a series deliver the goods...until Grey's decided to wrap it all up in neat little bow with no cliffhangers to mess with my summer. And so I whined about that. Careful what you wish for...I could use a bow or too from Lost.

But, enough about Grey's. You don't care about that. When you get to the office, no one's going to be talking about McDreamy. Instead, I see a serious backlash comin' at those producers with more fervor than that smoke monster.

Don't get me wrong. I love when finales piss people off. I defended The Soprano's for weeks. Seinfeld...years. But this lame ass ending?

Not so much.

It's not like I'm asking them to have installed Bob Newhart in the pulpit. But honestly, the only real Purgatory is that I wasted 6 years on this crap.

I wasn't expecting lots of answers. But how about...some? Any? So many questions...like....what happened to Jack's other wife - was she too busy with her "Modern Family"? Why did Ben go from creepiest bully EVER to biggest wuss this season? Why did I just sit through more commercials than content?

Also, I'm no churchie, but how come the killers (Kate, Sawyer, Sayid....) get to go to heaven?

Well, lots of people are embracing all this Heavenly Light mumbo jumbo. Good for them. As for me?

I'm still wondering why it was NOT PENNY'S BOAT. Maybe I'll find out in another life, brotha.

No Love Lost

After 6 years of flashbacks, flash forwards, and flash-wherevers, we finally get our finale.

*Spoilers*

Now, I don't read Lost message boards, but I've certainly heard enough chatter about the certainly plausible "It's a dream", "They're in an insane asylum", and "It's Purgatory" theories. All possible.

But I have another.

Is it just me, or has this season actually uncovered that all Lost REALLY is, is a whole lotta theft from some famous movies?? I'm going on record now to say that when the smoke clears (uh, so to speak) on finale night, I think we'll find out this was all just stories being pitched by a Hollywood writer. Maybe we'll flash to him sitting in a studio, piles of scripts in hand, making pitch after pitch, only to be rejected for the lack of originality.

Not sure where I'm going with this? Consider the facts. First, that damn smoke monster. Um, does no one else remember the end of Ghost when basically the same smoky thing gobbles up the bad guys?

And then, there's the more obscure cult classic, Pet Sematary. In this Stephen King movie, people that came back from the dead were suddenly kinda evil, kinda off, and that guy that used to play Herman Munster kept exclaiming, "Sometimes dead is bettahhhh!". Um, isn't that what happened to Claire and Said? This argument is slightly weakened by the fact that the writers kind of blew off that storyline, except for the ridiculous decision to underscore Claire's new nuttiness with frizzy hair week after week. In the land of the Lost, no conditioner=crazy.

Apparently.

And then of course, last week, there was that sinking submarine with the teary goodbye of the Kwon's. Ok, I did tear up a little, but mostly, I couldn't shake Celine Dion in my head belting out "My Heart Will Go Onnnnnnnnn". Damn Titanic stealers.

Not sure what movies they'll rip off next week, but I'm sticking with my theory.

Or maybe we'll find out it was just a 3 hour tour.