Hangin' Tough

Few things in this world give me more pleasure than cheese...both literally and figuratively. And so I was downright gleeful as I sat on my couch last night, nachos in hand (I SO wish I was kidding) to watch Behind the Music: New Kids on the Block.

I was never actually much of a New Kid fan to be honest. But, given the fact that I love a little retro cheese and all things Boston-ish, I ate it up.

I kind of forgot about Behind the Music since it's been semi-retired after covering every band short of the one at your cousin's bar mitzvah. This special didn't really break any new ground (yeah, yeah, we KNOW Maurice Starr tried to take credit, you were just poor kids from Dorchester...blah blah blah) but boy did I love all its big-haired goodness anyway.

The best part for me was the revelation (or reminder) that NKOTB started out opening for TIFFANY, but then the following year, the mall-touring goddess ended up opening for THEM. Poor Tiffany. She will forever be trapped in our consciousness at malls dressed in head to toe denim.

And that includes the scrunchie.

This trip down Aqua-Net lane reminded me of something else that I crazily and inexplicably just confessed to my boyfriend: somewhere in the world exists a videotape of me, opening up a gift from my brother on Christmas morning circa 1986 or 1987. Let me set the scene: time stamp is around 8am, my makeup is in full splendor, including my predilection toward feathering my eyeliner half way up the side of my head. The hair and nails go without saying, as does the fake Gucci sweatshirt. And just what was this gift that made me squeal with delight? A Tiffany 45 combined with a VHS of Bon Jovi videos.

Thank GOD I grew up before You Tube.

In sickness and in health

Tonight, ER, that long, long, lonnnnnnnng running series about that hospital set in Chicago sets its sights on going out in style. It's the start of the 15th and final (no, really!) season of the series that launched a thousand Caesar haircuts, Clooney-style.

That seemingly teflon-coated hospital has seen more guest stars check in than the Love Boat, and as this season begins, Angela Bassett muscles her way in as a doc with a - wait for it - troubled past.

I, for one, hope all these docs and their troubled pasts go out with some class. Now, yes I know we alllllllll want Georgie-poo to come back to say goodbye, but let's be honest....if he didn't show up for Mark Greene's funeral, it ain't gonna happen. But, who knows? Even Anthony Edwards is coming back for one episode, despite his brain tumor death.

God bless the inventor of flashbacks and dream sequences.

Anyhoo, that cast sure has changed since 1994. Some arrivals have been good (hellooooooo John Stamos), some have been bad (sorry Scott Grimes/Dr. Archie Morris, you will always be annoying to me) and some have just plain vanished (where ARE you Rick Rossovitch, aka Tag, the dude Carol Hathaway ditched for Doug?).

I will admit, even I strayed for a few seasons in the middle there, but it's been pretty damn good in the last year or two. So, if your DVR can stand it, that's THREE hours of doctor-palooza tonight (lest you forget the 2 hour season premiere of Grey's).

It could be good for what ails ya.

Reality Bites

I hate to kick people when they're down, but what the hell WAS that train wreck of an Emmy's the other night??!

You know, there was a time when I would like, have to add extra rounds of cardio to get my body ready for the marathon ritual of watching hours upon hours of red carpet leading up to the pièce de résistance, the Emmy's! But this year?

Not so much.

So maybe I was psychic when I DVR'd this horrible piece of dreck and went out instead of staying home to watch. And thank god when I got home I could speed through the horrible wanna-be banter to get to the good speeches.

Oh wait, there WERE no good speeches.

And I mean, I know EVERYBODY is talking about how bad the reality-hosts-talking-about-nothing bit was...but what about that Josh Groban singing-montage of tv theme songs??! I mean, the THIS-HAS-TO-BE-A-JOKE-SINGING-MONTAGE-BUT-WAIT-NO-IT'S-NOT-WAIT-IS-IT?-JOSH-GROBAN-TV-THEME-SONG-MONTAGE?


That might've been the most cringe-worthy awards moment I've seen since Rob Lowe danced with Snow White at the Oscars. And guess what? I've got that video, too, if you don't mind burning out your corneas by the time he comes on at 4:12 in this ONLY copy of that infamous video I could find...



On the bright side, at least my friends at Mad Men and 30 Rock got lots of awards. See, I'm smart enough to say nice things. I would hate for someone to be mad at me for slamming the Emmy's since it IS a small word, after all...

Welcome back to the Jungle!

So I got a sneak peak at the season 2 premiere of Lipstick Jungle today (coming to NBC on Sept 24th at 10p). I am happy to report, these gals have come a long way, baby!

Now, I know you have a lot of big decisions to make in the next few weeks. So many choices - how will you decide what to add to your DVR list?

I'm here to help you make an informed decision, so here's the skinny (since no fat is allowed in these glamour gals' lives) on Lipstick Jungle:

The Good Kim Raver plays the best "laughter through tears" scenes you'll see in awhile (Yes I am quoting Dolly Parton from Steel Magnolias here. I've been waiting for an opportunity to do that since it came out in 1989.). I'm not going to ruin it for you, but you're going to want to see what happens next. Let's just hope it involves more of that guy she had an affair with last season, even if the writers did unwisely decide to name him Kirby. I'm sorry, I will make an exception for the Emilio Estevez character in St. Elmo's Fire, but in general, only cute puppies should be named Kirby. Period.

The Bad While I am actually LOVING the casting of Rosie Perez as Victory Ford's (Lindsay Price) publicist, why does she have to have one of those fake TV jobs? She is Victory's publicist, but she is also talking to real estate agents to try and find new space for Victory's store?? Um, I don't think so. Jobs on TV are never accurate. Remember when Billy Campbell on Melrose Place was like an account guy but also somehow wrote copy? Or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, I hate that!

The Could Be Ugly I'm not sure yet about Mary Tyler Moore as Brooke Shield's mom. I wanna love her, because...well, she's Mary-Freaking-Tyler-Moore...but she might fall into the cliché category. Too soon to tell.

Overall, it was good though. But please, bring back Lorraine Bracco! She was the best bitch EVER last season. That would guarantee this show on the must-see-tv list for sure.

9021-oh-no!

With the Emmy's around the corner (my Superbowl), I feel inspired. I haven't given out my own awards in awhile. So, today I present you with an all-90210 edition:

*Spoilers*

Worst use of a green screen, or, most unrealistic drive since I played Pole Position at the mall arcade in 1986 award: Dixon and Silver's spin through Beverly Hills in Jessica's 'car' looked so fake I was surprised the Wicked Witch of the West didn't come riding by on her bike in the background.

Most changes to a hairstyle in a single hour, or, hire a continuity person, stat! award: Naomi's hair, which seemingly went from short to long over a night...and also went from super hot rollered to straight-ish in the time it took for her to walk from her locker to outdoors.




Best reason not to smoke, ever, award: Jessica Walter's crinkled up, scary looking lips that were at least a distraction from her over the top bad acting as the grandmother/new drama teacher.


Biggest guest star appearance to not live up to the hype award: Shannen Doherty, whose only function seems to be to utter random reminders of the departed cast members ("I can still hear the chants of Donna Martin graduates...").












Biggest "We're still holding out hope that we can convince Luke Perry to swing by on his motorcycle and liven up this place" award: That goes to the producers and writers, when it was revealed last night that the father of Kelly's baby is Dylan. At least, I think that's what they revealed?!

Chuck Cunningham award: Where is that girl Adrianna from the pilot? The theater girl with the drug problem?

At least Nat's still kickin' around.

Misery Loves Company

*Spoilers*

There is trouble in River City. Or at least, there's trouble at Sterling Cooper. Could there have been a MORE depressing episode than Sunday's telecast of Mad Men?!

I mean that as the highest compliment of course.

Betty Draper is losing it...BIG TIME. I mean, get January Jones an Emmy, stat! Not since those Wisteria Lane gals burst onto the scene has a desperate housewife been so fun to watch.

But Betty doesn't have the market cornered on malaise. Poor buxom bombshell Joan got a taste of playing with the big boys when she got her script reading job, then saw it plucked away just as quickly. Now, as she is realizing she must settle down to a ho-hum life as a domestic goddess, she is not happy. While I'm handing out Emmy's (if only I really had that power), let's give one to Christina Hendricks as Joan, too. Her stare alone scares the crap out of me. That's some good acting.

Continuing down the list of people's lives going down the tubes, Don Draper is totally screwed between his haunted past and now this looney wife of his.

And speaking of screwed...something tells me Peggy is headed towards a very Thorn Birds like relationship with that priest.

By the way, if for some crazy reason you are still not watching Mad Men...well, let's just say I pray for you.

In Fashion

Maybe it's the steady diet of fashion I've had all week (no, not that kind of fashion diet...no ciggies or puking here). But, I have been filming at NY Fashion Week and my stilettos have been knee deep in fashionistas.

(Can stilettos be knee deep? Maybe they can be knee high. Or maybe all this fashion weeking has given me a clear case of ADD. I digress...)

Anyhoo, despite my round the clock dealings with all things fashion, I found time to watch the new Bravo show "The Rachel Zoe Project". I expected to hate it. I expected to hate her.

But you know what? You can't always judge a gal by her super-skinny, über tanned cover.

Sure, the narrative was as expected. The quest for the perfect dress. The glimpses of celebs for the TMZ-lovin' set. And sorry assistant gal Taylor, you have clearly been assigned the role of the villain.

Surprisingly, though, despite Zoe's rep in the tabloids, she's pretty likable, and her passion for what she does comes across as genuine as the leather on her Birkin bag.

And so I'm adding Rachel Zoe to my list of what to wear watch. Besides, once Fashion Week ends, I'm gonna be craving a little sartorial splendor more than those models will be craving carbs.

Just Say Cheese!

Wow, the claws are out on 90210! And I'm not even talking about all the scandal that went down on last night's premiere...

It's the critics! All of the reviews I've seen thus far seem to me like they were kind of written in advance by some pissy haters that were miffed that the C-Dubya didn't release advance copies of the show. What did you expect, people? Shakespeare?

First of all, take Variety's review: "The second hour gets a big boost from the appearance of Shannen Doherty returning as Brenda," writes Laura Fries. Really? Yes, we all tuned in to see the return of infamous Brenda, but seriously? She was in it for like 2 seconds. A big boost? Not so much.

I do agree that Jessica Walter (the grandmother) was doing some serious "scenery chewing". And for me, Silver's cartoony blog thing was annoying as hell...and not just cuz I'm, well, a blogger, but because it was about as real-feeling as that early-incarnation-of-email moment in Pretty in Pink when Andrew McCarthy video-emails Molly Ringwald in the library.

But I digress.

I just don't understand all the hating! It was fun...in that guilty pleasure sorta way that only 90210 can bring you anyway. So I say, just give in. It's like when I opened my boyfriend's refrigerator recently and found Cheese Whiz lurking in the back. Sure, I pretended to be horrified but let's be honest...I really just wanted to nuke that sucker and spread it on some crackers.

Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker didn't like when the Ethan character declared "I'm breaking up with us". C'mon, Ken! Any 90210 connoisseur knows that was just a modern day update of Kelly's famous "I choose me" line from the 90210 of yesteryear.

Hey, it might be cheesy, but it's OH so good.