The Envelope Please

I was starting to panic. There are only 5 episodes of Mad Men left (yes, really) and there's only so much back-to-back-to-back Bachelor incarnations I can take before I need to regenerate my brain cells by reading a book or something.

So with a tv lull looming before the new fall shows begin, I am relieved that at least I have the Emmys coming up THIS Sunday!!

Things I'm Looking Forward to:
George Clooney is receiving the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. I don't know what this entails, but it's a segment honoring George Clooney. Um, duh. I'll be there.

Modern Family has 14 nominations. Would love to see a sweep...though that kid and Ed O'Neill weren't part of those nominations? Muy mal.

Conan's now defunct Tonight Show is nominated. I'm with Coco!!! How bad do you want to see THAT speech? Suck it, Jay Leno.

I'll probably grab some Ben + Jerry's during...
I'm still bitter over wasting 6 years of my life on LOST. Not rooting for anyone from LOST and especially hoping there are no Dharma-themed skits. And enough dragging it out with that auction already! No, I don't want to buy the smoke monster, musical instruments from Driveshaft, and absolutely, positively I do not want any of their what I assume-to-be-smelly outfits!


BTW, how come no one's hair ever got longer on that show? Maybe if they didn't waste time fashioning a blade to cut it, they would've gotten off the island sooner.

Wait, did they get off the island or did the smoke monster get them? I'm still not sure...

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Hello kiddies!

Greetings from work-a-holic land! Do you feel neglected? Think I've forgotten about you? It isn't so. But for the duration of the summer, I am work, work, work-ing round the clock on a TLC show (so guess I'll table the Jon + Kate comments for now so as not to piss off the network that feeds me) and I've had no time for blogging.

But I've been thinking of you! A free association rundown of stuff that's popped into my head over the past month.

Michael Jackson I know my girl Oprah has been on vaca (thus the thousands of re-runs my DVR keeps picking up that are the same two themes: "How to live in the recession" and "How to look younger/thinner") but seriously, she couldn't come back from whatever castle she's staying at to do a show on MJ's passing? I know what you're thinking, do we really need any more coverage? CNN is already ALL MJ ALL THE TIME. But still...you just know she's coming back from holiday with Michael's besties rounded up. And I mean the big ones - Liz Taylor, Macaulay Culkin, that Webster kid...if I know O, it's gonna look like the set of the next Surreal Life.

I kinda can't wait. I know it's wrong.

Kate Winslet This is probably super old news, but I keep stumbling into these quotes and articles where Kate says how pissed she is that magazines airbrush her because she wants to keep it real.

Dear Magazine Editors, if I should ever become famous for some reason, please feel free to airbrush the crap out of me. Go nuts! Not interested in looking real whatsoever. xoxo Krista

What Not to Watch Man oh man, I mean, I know I've been busy, but there is NOTHING on. Nothing. I turned on 5 minutes of "Miami Social" on Bravo and it was the 5 most annoying, whiny moments in tv history. Don't go there, not even if you're a fan of that girl from the Apprentice that has surfaced on this show. And now that other Apprentice alum, Bill Rancic, and his wife, Giuliana (from E!) are doing a Newlyweds-ish show on Style?

Good luck kids. Hope the divorce lawyer is on speed dial.

Glimmers of Hope Only a few weeks till Mad Men. And, this week I'll at least be entertained by tuning in to the last 15 minutes of "The Bachelorette" just to see the most shocking whatever ever, even though I haven't watched for 95% of the season and even though NO WAY is that girl hot enough to have all those dudes fighting over her.

Speaking of desperation, should I watch "More to Love", the Bachelor for the plus sized?

Yeah, maybe it's best I'm too busy working on tv to actually watch it.

Misery Loves Company

*Spoilers*

There is trouble in River City. Or at least, there's trouble at Sterling Cooper. Could there have been a MORE depressing episode than Sunday's telecast of Mad Men?!

I mean that as the highest compliment of course.

Betty Draper is losing it...BIG TIME. I mean, get January Jones an Emmy, stat! Not since those Wisteria Lane gals burst onto the scene has a desperate housewife been so fun to watch.

But Betty doesn't have the market cornered on malaise. Poor buxom bombshell Joan got a taste of playing with the big boys when she got her script reading job, then saw it plucked away just as quickly. Now, as she is realizing she must settle down to a ho-hum life as a domestic goddess, she is not happy. While I'm handing out Emmy's (if only I really had that power), let's give one to Christina Hendricks as Joan, too. Her stare alone scares the crap out of me. That's some good acting.

Continuing down the list of people's lives going down the tubes, Don Draper is totally screwed between his haunted past and now this looney wife of his.

And speaking of screwed...something tells me Peggy is headed towards a very Thorn Birds like relationship with that priest.

By the way, if for some crazy reason you are still not watching Mad Men...well, let's just say I pray for you.

Truly Madly Deeply

Amy Winehouse and I are in trouble.

We both have all the telltale signs: the hollowed out darkness that lurks under the eyes from no sleep, no time to eat, and yeah, I totally just want one more hit. I just can't get enough, man.

But my crack ain't actually snortable or smokeable. It's Mad Men.

I mean, I know I wrote the other day that I was digging this show (even though I'm a little late to the party), but man oh man, did I just have no idea how addictive this thing is.

I blame On Demand. I'm in a foggy haze, frantically trying to catch up to season 2. The clock tolls 1:08am and I know I have to get up for work, but who can care about work at a time like this?

Besides, it's not like I can drink and smoke at my desk like at Sterling Cooper.

Why even go in?

Mad About You

So I finally decided to see what all the hype is about and checked out AMC's Mad Men.

Where the hell have I been?! It's...oh so good.

Now, on the bygone era front, I admit I didn't really give Swingtown a chance, and maybe I should've. But in that first episode, every Tab, every mustache, every bell-bottomed move seemed contrived to me.

For some reason, on Mad Men, it's the opposite. I want to deep inhale every unfiltered cigarette they smoke, come along on every non-seatbelted car ride they take, and, quite frankly, I'm a little jealous of the multi-martini lunches.

I'm comforted by the clacking of the typewriters. I want to run out and buy a bullet bra. I wanna go to one of those restaurants with the teeny weeny lamps on the tables and drink a gimlet. I'll call the restaurant and make the reservation on my rotary phone.

And now the best part. I'm only on episode 2 of the 13 on demand before season 2 starts next Sunday.

Finally, something to do this summer that won't make me hot and bothered...well except when I think about Mad Men star Jon Hamm.