Baby Remember My Name

I'm still reeling from my close encounter with Harvey Keitel from last week. Now, I realize maybe this is like, no big deal to you. But frankly, I felt all Courtney Cox in that Dancing in the Dark video, plucked from the crowds and thrust into the spotlight.

Ok, maybe not a spotlight. One of those pocket sized flashlight type thingys (I digress but, even for a Bruce worshipper like me, that has to go down in history as the worst video ever, no?).

How does one follow such a thing up? For me, it was sweet talkin' my way onto the red carpet to go heel to heel with the one and only SJP. That's MS. Carrie Bradshaw herself, out and about to prove her marriage is intact support her hubby's film, and I found myself on the red carpet once again. And while I did indeed ace out a veteran NYC reporter for my 10 seconds with Sarah Jessica, it was all so anti-climatic. What, no invite to shoe shop? And what about her hubby? I thought for sure we'd jump onto the media riser and start singing "Twist and Shout" together, but...nada. And then to find out the next day that she held back baby news from me?

Well, that just kinda hurts.

And so it's back to regularly scheduled blogging.

Which means it's time to bitch about Lost (3 weeks of eps backed up on the DVR and slogging thru all the "Is it now? Is it before? Who's the latest Darma dude?" crap - do I really care anymore?), time to decide if I'll follow Brothers and Sisters to season 4 (did they really dump Balthazar Getty for screwing around with Sienna Miller?), and I'm even holding out hope that Grey's will pull off a nice, juicy brain tumor-wedding cliffhanger fiesta that will hearken back to the days when this show was heart patient-Denny good, not hallucination-Denny bad.

It's good to be back. Finale season lies ahead, so buckle up.

It's time for a different sort of magic carpet ride.

You Must Remember This, A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

If there's one thing about my day job that's consistent, it's that it's never the same day twice. At various times in my career, I've found myself running out at 3am to film childbirth, coaxing crazy brides to cry on camera, and once, paying (bribing?) a turtle watcher's society to allow my crew to film a fragrance bottle on a beach in Florida.

So it was just another day...ya know, interviewing celebs on the red carpet at the premiere for Woody Allen's new movie (feigned yawn here). I don't want to say I'm unimportant, but my placement was so far down the press line that the only ones further away from all the action was a team of pre-teen reporters covering it for kids. In rapid fire succession, the teeny boppers ace me out for the likes of Robert DeNiro, Debra Messing and Uma Thurman.

And then came Harvey Keitel.

I half-heartedly call out to him to stop for me, but why bother? That 12-year-old with the braces clearly has this one sewn up, right? But then he comes charging towards me, and I could've never predicted what would happen next.

The iconic tough guy movie star grabs me by my face, plants a giant kiss on my mouth, and walks away.

Say what?!

As I'm still gathering myself together, I'm realizing my camera man (a student, I might add, at his first movie premiere EVER) has gotten it all on tape. I'm freaked! And sure enough, every frame is captured, right there for the world, ok, like 10 people in my office, to see. And though I love to write about pop culture, I just figured this was a cute little incident to laugh about over margaritas with my friends.

But then I ended up in the NY Observer. The pop culturer is now the pop culturee!!! And I quote...

Just as Mr. Spurlock was speaking, Harvey Keitel and wife Daphna Kastner were walking down the carpet without stopping for anyone. Until, that is, a female reporter from a curious travel website called Citybuzz blocked his path, holding her mike out, and begging with her big eyes for him to stop and perhaps say something interesting. Mr. Keitel, seeing this, began to speed up, walking directly towards the eager reporter. Then he thrust his hands forward, grabbed her face, and planted an open-mouth kiss, before walking away and not saying a word.

"Did that really just happen?" the reporter asked her camera guy.

"Yeah, and I got it on tape!" the cameraman replied.

"I would have rather gotten an interview," grumbled the reporter, before packing up her equipment and leaving.

Thank you, NY Observer reporter Irina Aleksander, for calling my eyes big, though I'm not sure they were so much begging as bloodshot. And I'm pretty sure I didn't actually grumble. The rest, however, was true, except the path blocking part. But don't take my word for it. Here it is, in bright and shiny video!


Thank you, Mr. Keitel, for giving new meaning to the words, 'viral video'.

Spelling it Out

With our beloved Sydney triumphantly returning to the 'new' Melrose, I can almost overlook the hiring of Ashlee Simpson as a sure sign of the apocalypse how much the 'new' 90210 has been botched.

Maybe it makes me old (though not as old as that chick who played Andrea Zuckerman...that chick was like 50 during some of those graduation scenes!). Maybe it makes me a whiner. But wouldn't 90210 two-point-ohhhh have been better if it just plunked down more of those beloved (dare I say iconic) Aaron Spelling characters of yesteryear into circa now? They could just jump on that Lost/Desperate Housewives (and soon Gossip Girl) time travel train...flash backs and flash forwards are all the rage!!

Besides, let's be honest, unless you're Hilary Swank, being an alumni of an Aaron Spelling show? Not always good news, so let's give some of these kids a helping hand. They need work, and not just playing a guidance counselor (Jennie Garth, what are you DOING? Where is that fire survivin' pill poppin' I-choose-me gal that I used to love? Get thee a real plot line for Kelly, quick!).

Spelling Spinoff Alumni Outreach Program Contenders:

"Valerie Malone" Tiffani (sometimes Amber) Theissen: For awhile there, every sinking show was calling on this little vixen to be their secret weapon (this means you, What About Brian, Good Morning Miami and Just Shoot Me). Now? Last year she made a movie called Cyborg Soldier. CYBORG. SOLDIER. Maybe give her a gig on the new Melrose. She can be the new pool boy.

Or something.





"David Silver": Brian Austin Green Oh dear. I thought you were busting outta the pack. You had the hottie Angelina-wanna-be lined up as a blushing bride, and a regular gig on that Terminator series that almost made me forget that rapper thing you tried in the 90's. But girl doesn't want you to put a ring on it, after all, and I think you just croaked on that show.

Maybe time for a plan B, though I'll give it to you for staying in the press, even if this headline is a new low in journalism history.

"Steve Sanders": Ian Ziering He danced back into our hearts for a little while, but the long running gig as the voice of "Biker Mice From Mars" is surely not how this dude wants to be remembered? Give him a penthouse at Melrose. C'mon!

Now about that Candy Spelling. Surely there's a Mommie Dearest remake just waiting to hit the big screen...

Donna Martin graduates

My DVR keeps taping the new 90210 but I keep ignoring it. However, with Tori swinging by for a visit, and frankly, not much else to choose from other than a backlog of Oprah's, I figured what the hey.

Talk about a bad judgment call.

Where oh where to begin?

First, why was Tori channeling dear old dad's show Charlie's Angels? Those awful Farrah rolls in her hair were sooooooo '77. And not in a good way. Also, as it turns out, she saved herself for David for nothing...the big return was a setup to reveal Donna and David are separated. Oops, sorry, forgot to do a spoiler alert.

Right, like anyone besides me is watching this.

Second, Dixon and Annie are supposed to be brother and sister, but frankly, they're a little too close for comfort. They go on a secret road trip together and stay in the same hotel, they're giggling, dare I say flirting?...this is some serious Flowers in the Attic s**t if you ask me.

But the worst part, by far, is the Dr. Pepper product placement overload. I can handle an "organic" (those are air quotes) placement here and there - a subtle can shot...even a 'hey, can you pass me the Dr. Pepper?" I admit, I've produced a few shows that, artistic integrity be damned, have contained a few organic-in-air-quotes product mentions. But OH MY GOD, this was bad.

Like, I literally thought at one point that character Dixon might bust out with "I'm-a-Pepper-you're-a-pepper-wouldn't-you-like-to-be-a-Pepper-too?" as his next line.

I guess times are tough. You gotta do whatcha gotta do.

As a matter of fact, I'm blogger with no income in a recession. Hey Dr. Pepper, come advertise on my site!!!!

Scare Tactics

I have to admit, I've never really sought out horror movies. I mean, I saw The Vanishing 15 years ago and I'm still worried someone is going to kidnap me at a gas station and bury me alive after covering my mouth with ether.

That Jeff Bridges gave me the willies!

But the fun ones - the campy, Scream-ish, camp-o-rama types? Well those are just fun, and I like it.

And so I'm so happy Harper's Island has all the ingredients to be the perfect guilty pleasure. It's not too late for you to jump on board! Just click here to go to CBS's website and watch episode #1. This one-season wonder is going to kill someone off every week until the killer is revealed; that's all you really need to know. Stop reading NOW though if you haven't seen it. Spoiler alert, ahead!



What's good The producers are following the campy checklist here, everyone is pretty and often scantily clad. There's lots of red herrings so it seems everyone's a suspect, which is fun.

What's bad How could they kill off Harry Hamlin in ep one? The king of kitsch should have been kept around longer. His bronzer alone was kind of awesome, in a ridiculous George Hamilton is passing the torch kind of way. Super bummer.

Also, what's with the hot girls with the dorky guys? Totally unbelievable. They re-cast a lot of this show since the original pilot, seems like they should've had money left in their budget to find some cooler dudes.

I have zero inside info, but my money's on the groom to be the killer.

Next episode airs Thursday at 10p/ET.

Put a Little Love in your Heart

I have to be totally honest here. Before I watched Cupid, I had already made up my mind I was gonna hate it. Like, I had the headline in my head all day - "Slings and Arrows". I know writers aren't supposed to admit that we think this way, but indeed, sometimes we just do.

And then I watched it.

Guess what? I'm season passing it on the DVR.

Now, lest you get TOO excited at this first blush of romance, I am not putting it in, like, the AWESOME category. But it was a solid cute, especially for the first episode. And a little cute is something we all could use, right?


A quick cheat sheet if you missed the first episode:

-The show is 60 minutes, not 30. For some reason, I had decided it was a 30 minute sitcom in my head. Maybe you did, too. It's not.

-Every week, "Cupid" a.k.a Trevor matches a new couple. Hijinks ensue! I have to say, the show could've been elevated a bit if they had an A and B story. Not sure 60 minutes was totally necessary for the one couple story arc, but maybe I am too influenced by the over-caffeinated, ADD storytelling currently rampant on the networks.

-The constant each week is Trevor and his therapist, Claire. They've definitely got the Sam and Diane thing going, with a splash of Moonlighting banter thrown in.

I admit, it's kind of a CHICK show, but c'mon, give it a shot. It was a pretty good first date.

You don't have to take my word for it. Check out the first episode yourself, by clicking here. ABC has this handy little player for ya.