More Lip Schtick

Oh dear.  After the media blitz of last week's "Harry Loves Lisa" premiere, I thought we'd be all tv-plastic-surgery-starred out, no? Now,  I have to admit, I thought Lisa's cheerleadery support of Harry was sort of (gasp) genuine-seeming, but the lips! Oh, the lips!  They make me so sad!  Yet, I was powerless to look away. The Hamlin-Rinnas + TV Land know this, and so they've made La Lips the lip-pin, er, lynchpin of their marketing campaign for the show.

Give 'em credit, they know how to put their best foot forward.  Or best lips forward.

Whatever. 

But now, the latest reality show I will become powerless to resist is premiering on Bravo this Thursday.  Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, Botox fans and others, I present to you:

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!!!!

No, I can't believe I'm promoting this crap, either.   The only Housewives franchise I have ever watched is New Jersey, but even that could only hold me for one season. How many episodes in a row can a girl take of the "Danielle-is-here...oh-my-gawd-that-whooooo-rah" theme song, ya know?

(Ok, full disclosure, I watched Bethenny Frankel on "Bethenny Getting Married" even though I'd never seen the NY franchise, but I swear she's somewhat normal...at least, normal using the Bravo television barometer.)

Anyhoo, I watched Bravo's preview clip  and these ladies terrify and intrigue me at the same time.  With Camille (Mrs. Kelsey) Grammer on board, no doubt the schadenfreude-tastic thrill of watching the implosion of her marriage to Kelsey will be the rubber neck draw of the series that Ms. Rinna's lips are on "Harry Loves Lisa".  

Plus, it's got TWO Hilton relatives/ex-child stars, some woman named Lisa VanderPump (I couldn't make that up) who not only looks like Jackie Collins but could star in her awesomely trashy movies-of-the-week, a Maloof wife AND one woman with a very surgically altered lip.  And a partridge in a pear tree.  

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the freakiest of them all?

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Oh you crazy Bachelor kids! Why'd you have to go and recycle that kinda-seems-like-a-hick Brad Womack?? Surely you could do better? If it was controversy you were a-courtin', why not cast now-legendary (ok, kind of) bad boy Kovacs??

(For you non-Bachelor watchers, we'll get to him in a minute.)

I mean, who makes these decisions?

Anyhoo, Womack's claim to fame was that - scandal alert - he didn't pick either girl at the end. People were outraged. They couldn't believe he didn't fake-pick someone only to real-break up with them 6 weeks later!

But that's not really why he ushered in the Bachelor's brief shark-jumping era. I mean, in the beginning, they'd trot out all these guys with a gimmick, and you would (sort of) understand why the gals were all atwitter: Billionaire vineyard owner Andrew Firestone! Sort of a prince Lorenzo! Related to a C-List Actor Charlie O'Connell!

Womack's credentials? College drop-out/bartender. Woo hoo! No wonder you ladies were so upset he didn't pick you. How could you let him slip through your fingers?!

Oy.

So, supposedly he's gone through "intensive therapy" to ensure he's ready to pick someone at the end. And by "intensive therapy" I'm sure that means ABC's contract makes sure he's gotta walk outta there with some girl sportin' some bling.

But the bigger question is, who the hell wants him?

Would you date this man?

ABC, since you've thrown the Rico-Suave rich guy thing out the window as a pre-requisite, and recycling is your thing, why not bring back Jesse Kovacs?? He's the kind of guy every girl has gone out with (or tried to) at least once. Ladies, if you're around 25, you know this guy: hat backwards, cocky as hell dude? He might lure ya in with an Amstel Light when you see him across the bar, right?

And he may or may not call you...five days later.

He's the guy you love to hate and hate to love.

Now THAT is reality tv.

Loose Lips

Did you know Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna have a 'reality' show, "Harry loves Lisa", that is premiering Wednesday on TV Land?

Yeah, me neither.

On the one hand, you think, ick! I would never watch this! On the other hand, you think...well, ick! Plus, no man would ever sit through it. Well, no man in MY house.

But then I watched this clip, and I thought...Lisa is kind of funny. Could this be...good? Rinna's way of getting all, um, lippy is kind of appealing in a Kathy-Griffin-outrageous kind of way (again with this show being a man repeller. Or at least, a straight man-repeller). In the very first intro clip, they're not afraid to dish the dirt, including the fact that it was Nicolette Sheridan dumping Harry for Michael Bolton that led to Harry and Lisa getting together.

Poor Michael Bolton is on everyone's, um, lips. He's having a really bad week. I said it before - you should've never cut the hair! It's why you tanked on Dancing with the Stars and why Felicity Keri Russell is in that God awful show (at least, it LOOKS awful) that's probably about to be canceled, "Running Wilde". Leave the hair alone. You don't see Kenny G getting a buzz cut! And what, you think Snooki would be Snooki without the pouf?

I digress, as usual.

Anyhoo, Harry and Lisa do seem to have a little schtick that could be something. Maybe, maybe not. I will say that their whole "Look at us, we're the Hollywood marriage that is the exception" thing is like inviting the Jinx Gods to come in and get them divorced, but that's the risk they'll have to take.

Besides, they claim they are solid. Hopefully that's not just lip service.