Summer Breeze, Makes Me Feel Fine...

In a few weeks, a few things are certain:
The Sopranos will be over FOREVER.
Lost will be off until next season (which is like, super far away I might add).
Something BIG will happen to SOMEBODY on Grey's Anatomy (ok that's just safe bet speculation on my part).

This leaves us spending our summer mourning the loss of a legendary show, wondering if the island inhabitants are alive or dead or WHAT, and wondering how we'll get through the week without new McDreamy to look forward to. Ok, um, actually...the last one might be JUST ME.

Fear not, my tv-loving friends! You don't have to spend the summer under the sun's dangerous UV rays! Stay inside, where it's safe...and watch tv! A few summer-premiering shows for you to contemplate, along with my total assessment of each, sight unseen. Not to be judgmental or anything.

PURE CAR WRECK AWARD: The Ex-Wives Club, a reality show starring Shar Jackson, Marla Maples, and Angie Everheart giving makeovers and advice to people going thru bad breakups/divorces. Instead of Ty Pennington yelling "Move that bus!" they yell "Move that prenup!" at the close of each episode. Ok, I totally made that last part up, but it FEELS true.

CURIOSITY AWARD: Too Big to Walk...ok, I am not making this up, the premise of the show: overweight people walk 500 miles.

WOULD RATHER DROWN UNDER A BRUTAL WAVE THAT BASHES MY SKULL REPEATEDLY INTO THE ROCKS KILLING ME IN A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH THAN WATCH AWARD: Untitled Victoria Beckham Project. Sorry, this chick freaks me out.

WELL AT LEAST THEY GOT SPIELBERG ATTACHED EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A RIPOFF OF PROJECT GREENLIGHT AWARD: In the ultimate Frankenstein-like pairing, Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg team up for a show that has 16 undiscovered talents competing for a development deal at Dreamworks. Is anyone else sad that Spielberg is doing this show (but of course we'll watch it anyway)?

And don't forget, next week is the UPFRONTS!!!!! Lots more announcements to come about all the new shows...that you can spend your summer looking forward to. Surf's up!!!!!!!!!!!!!