Have You Heard About the Lonesome Loser...?

Yes, that's me. My latest guilty pleasure is the Biggest Loser: Couples. Why?
Not because of the handy weight loss tips (What, you don't have an air balloon handy to pull across a field? It's sooooo much better than the treadmill).

Not because I like to continually marvel at trainer Bob's cro-magnum head.

And, not because I like to watch Jillian suffer through her scripted product placement (though watching her shill for Brita with a puss on her face was kinda fun).

I love the romance that I promise you will unfold this season. Paul and Kelly are a couple of exes that have teamed up to lose weight. Listen to mama, this couple will be svelte and back together by the finale. I can taste it.

And I will be front and center like a blubbering idiot.

Brittany and Bernie are two other contestants that I predict will be "together" by season's end. Brittany and Bernie were the two "home" contestants that weren't part of the normal casting process - meaning that they were the only couple who didn't know each other before being paired up. But, I can practically SEE the producers pulling the strings on these two. They sort of both have that cute-people-trapped-in-big-bodies look. I predict these two are totally gonna make out.

And it's not like I don't KNOW the producers are totally manipulating me. I don't care. Who doesn't like a little lovin'?

In fact, maybe they should rename the show "Big Love".
Uh, oops, guess that one's taken.