Judging a Book by its Cover

When word first spread that both Lipstick Jungle AND Cashmere Mafia were to premiere this season, the media was abuzz with Sex and the City comparisons. But it also set off a tsunami of shameless gossip that it was war between Candace Bushnell and Darren Star.

All was well when they were both making Sex: Candace was the writer of the book Sex and the City was based on; Darren was the executive producer of this and many other soap-sational series. We all loved Sex and the City. Plenty of glory for everybody. But now on opposite sides, we were all left to wonder....was there still enough love to go around?

Going into this, I thought Lipstick might have the edge. With Candace attached, it certainly looked good on paper. Brooke Shields is a big name. How could it go wrong?

But boy was I wrong. Back in August, I became concerned on this here blog that in the promos of Lipstick, the characters were made up to look like dowdy caricatures. That was just the tip of the iceberg.

And when I say iceberg, I mean, as in...up ahead.

You see, I don't mind if my shows are realistic, for the most part. I even enjoy a little fluff and fantasy. Even when people were bitching about Sarah Jessica Parker's over the top outfits on Sex and the City, I was the girl running out to buy a (ridiculously oversized) flower to pin to my lapel. So, over on Cashmere Mafia, the characters are super shiny and glossy and it's pure pop, but that's ok...they have costume designer legend Pat Field and it shows. That is clearly one of their aces in the hole. Not so coincidentally it was Ms. Field who put SJP in those defining outfits on SATC. And quite frankly, for an hour each week, I'll gladly escape into these rich ladies' problems and occasionally fantasize that someday I can afford a Birkin bag.

But Lipstick Jungle? It's more Maybelline than La Mer..and I mean that literally. Maybelline was a sponsor urging YOU to get "the Lipstick Jungle look".

Um, no thanks. They actually found a way to make Brooke Shields look bad. Her drab makeup made her look sadly blah, and it seemed like in every scene she was wearing the same suit I wore on my job interview at Calvin Klein nearly ten years ago. I, too, thought I looked fashionable, but whereas Banana Republic might've been the (only) choice for me on my poverty-induced budget, Brooke Shields' character is supposed to be president of a movie studio? Even her cell phone was irritating! They couldn't even get a Blackberry or Iphone? No bluetooth?

But the most egregious offense for me was the sloppy editing. Or should I blame the bad shooting? (There was a shot left in where the camera was literally shaking as what-I-can-only assume was a bus went by. Or maybe it was a fighter plane.) This was film school bad. I stopped counting all of the mistakes about 30 minutes in but some of the highlights were Andrew McCarthy laughing and then they'd cut to a close up and PRESTO-CHANGO he's suddenly serious. My favorite? In one particular scene Brooke Shields' line is dubbed in...but her lips are...not...moving! I don't want to be harsh. Maybe it wasn't dubbed. Maybe Brooke's become a ventriloquist in her spare time.

Despite the hype, neither show is really a Sex ripoff. Yes, they're all about women in NYC but honestly LOST and Gilligan's Island are both about castaways and no one is trying to shove those two shows in the same category. Now, I've had more of a chance to warm up to Cashmere Mafia since I've seen more episodes and in truth I didn't love that first one either. So, I'm going to keep watching both, but so far this ain't exactly close.

Verdict: Cashmere covers Lipstick.