Town Ease

What a lame, lame, lame week in television.

I am trapped in the re-run and reality show desert. It's Thursday night and I want to time travel back to the 90's and watch Friends, Seinfeld and Clooney-era ER.

But alas, I cannot (well, technically I can if I watch TBS...but you know what I mean).

So, since I can't REALLY go back, I thought I'd look to the future and scoped out two upcoming ABC shows, Cougar Town, and Happy Town. ABC was also once home to the short-lived Molly Ringwald show Townies. Apparently, show naming is HARD.

ABC: also once home to Spin City.

Ok, I'll stop.

Anyway, here's a little sneak peak at Cougar Town: (And if you can't see the clip below, you can view it by clicking here:)



Here's the lowdown:

What's I Like It's from Exec Producer Bill Lawrence (Scrubs). If anyone is good at awkward comedy, it's him.

That is, of course, if you like that sort of thing.

And, Courtney Cox is good when she leaves the annoying side of Monica at home, but that brings me to...

What I Don't Like I see a little annoying Monica seeping in here. Also, less pratfalls please. Unless you're Lucille Ball, that kind of humor is almost impossible to pull off and kind of annoying.

Verdict Has potential, though it seems like the kind of show I start to like, only to have it get sent to Friday Night Death Row. Remember me, Lipstick Jungle and Six Degrees? Sigh.





Now, onto Happy Town, which you can watch by clicking here if you cannot see the clip below:



What I Like As I watch this clip, it's like my favorite game of NAME THAT RANDOM ACTOR!!! October Road heartthrob Geoff Stults is now some kind of sheriff-y guy; the desk dude from ER looks like he is also a long arm of the law; that old lady that was a creepy stalker of Gabby and Carlos on Desperate Housewives pops up, too, along with the dude that was the lead OTHER on LOST, sticking to what he knows best....creepy.

What I Don't Like What is this about, exactly?

Verdict Jury's out if this will be the next Twin Peaks (like they are advertising) or if it will be Pushing Daisies.

Stay tuned!

Jon + Kate plus Hate

I am hungover.

No, I did not drink last night, but I am still recovering from the major BUMMER STORM that was Jon + Kate Plus 8. Now, I know what you're thinking - didn't she just say yesterday that she wasn't going to cave and watch it?

Boredom's a bitch.

Well, that and the gravitational pull from all the Facebook status updates imploring me to tune in.

Now, I have never, ever seen this show. I do not know what the appeal of it is/was supposed to be, though I suspect it's mainly in seeing the super cute kids x 8 say adorable things as they get into hijinks. But man oh man, that is not what last night's episode was about.

The bulk of the ep contained alternating interviews with Jon and Kate seemingly alluding to, but, it should be noted, never actually saying how much they hate each other. This was depressing in proportions so epic, I could've watched a movie marathon of Schindler's List, Leaving Las Vegas and Terms of Endearment (maybe a doc on puppy mills, too) and still felt better. Seriously! This was like an infomercial for misery!

Again, I must openly confess I have never seen this show, so maybe this unfortunate random sampling is not the norm, but I found a disturbing contrast between Jon, who seemed like a hostage, and Kate, who was just a wee bit she-doth-protest-too-loudly-ish about hating all the tabloid attention. Jon, it's ok if you were cavorting in bars at 2am...that bee-otch would drive me to drink, too.

Well, I gave it a shot but I like my reality TV the same way I like my comfort food: cheesy and easy.

Real Housewives of New Jersey, who knew you would suddenly become my beacons of hope?

Judgment Day

It started innocently enough.

The finales are over. It's not quite summer. The premiere of Mad Men Season 3, is far, far away, and I still don't have a job.

What's a girl to do to pass the time?

I'll tell ya what she shouldn't do. She should NOT watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but of course, that is exactly what I did.

I've resisted all the other incarnations of this franchise, because I've realllllly grown weary of these attention-whore populated reality shows, but still, when a friend told me it was HIGH-larious, I caved.


Is it entertaining? Of course, in a very SNL version of the Sopranos kind of way. Are the women on the program appalling? Totally, especially that creepy plastic-faced one, Danielle. Do I think I'll watch it again?

Um, probably.

Fine, judge me all you want! But, I'm not working and quite frankly as guilty pleasures go, this one's like Cheez Whiz wrapped in bacon. On top of a Dorito. With some Cheetos on the side.

Hmm, maybe I'm just hungry.

Anyway, this is pure camp. The most vapid, McMansion-filled, bad for Jerzzzzzzzey hour of television, ever. Cat fights? Check. Big hair? Check. Bad Accents? Like, oh my gawd, check.

In other words, set your DVR.

Judge me if you want to, but in my defense, at least I did not fall prey to the marketing machine that is Jon and Kate plus their publicists 8. However, if YOU want to, the season premiere is tonight on TLC.

And the next new episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is Tuesday, on Bravo.

The Last Laugh

Look at you, CW Network, becoming all hip and trendy!

If you haven't been paying attention, this is a big week in television, The Upfronts. This is where (hopefully) eager advertisers get a peak at the Fall season and are enticed to part with what's left of their ad budgets to put behind the BIG shows coming up.

The CW, once a poor man's Fox Network, is not so suddenly like, the hippest cat on the dial.

Gossip Girl is of course back on the sked for Season 3 (duh) as is One Tree Hill. America's Top Model? Also back. And the new 90210? Still going.

As for the new stuff...no doubt cashing in on the wild success of the Twilight series, The Vampire Diaries will take a bite out of Thursdays.


In an interesting move, CW has eliminated ALL SITCOMS.

So on that note, I present to you teaser clips for two of their new shows. With the sitcom ban in place, I assume these are not meant to be funny.

First, The Beautiful Life is produced by Ashton Kutcher (WTF?) and stars Mischa Barton in a big acting stretch as a bitchy model. Check it out:

But of course, I know you only care a little about the models. You want to know the fate of the new Melrose Place, which incidentally, will air right after 90210 come Fall. I have no clue why Sydney (Laura Leighton) has become so whispery and breathy in this clip, and I'm not super psyched about the network's press release calling her "still beautiful at 40" (thanks a lot CW...I'll be off to get some Botox now...) but I did enjoy the surprising star who pops up at the end, who, like Laura Leighton, appears to have been cryogenically frozen since Melrose 1.0 went off the air in '99.


Some more fun facts: the pilot was directed by Davis Guggenheim; you may know him for his super cool musem-y name or his famous film, "An Inconvenient Truth"; I know him as Elisabeth Shue's hubby. That's Elisabeth SHUE...as in ANDREW SHUE'S sister. Can a Billy Campbell appearance be far behind?

And speaking of random nepotism-ish stories, the blonde chick that pops up at 1:51 in this clip (who is also the brown haired star on Harper's Island) is the daughter of David Cassidy. As in, "I Think I Love You".

I think I love CW.

Who Knew?

Oh Grey's! How you keep me guessing.

*Spoilers*

Yes, I finally got to check out the finale (albeit by watching it On Demand where fast forward was disabled and I was FORCED to watch the ads. What desperate tactics, ABC!).

It's not exactly a big secret that T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl were likely headed out the door, but I have to admit, the George twist threw me for a loop. Not the Army twist - the second they rolled in the kid who wanted his leg chopped off, I just knew Georgie was headed to Iraq. But somehow, someway, I never saw it coming that John Doe was George. I had forgotten that George's nickname was 007, and so when Meredith exclaimed "Oh God!" upon realizing John Doe=George, I was all "What's going on?", in a really non-aware idiot way, kind of how I was years ago at the end of the Sixth Sense when the whole theater was gasping "Bruce Willis is dead!" and I'm kinda focused on how yummy peanut M&M's are with popcorn and not really catching the twist.

Anyhoo, kind of a cool twist, though I didn't so much...care.

As for Izzy...as I predicted, we ended with a "Will she or won't she make it?" scene, complete with monitor shot. Told ya so!



I will probably still watch next season, but Shonda Rhimes better pull a rabbit out of her hat because this show seems to have jumped the shark around the time Izzy cut Denny's LVAD wire. Shonda's got her work cut out for her, because I think we've used up all the Seattle Grace employees-as-patients we can handle. Perhaps not so shockingly, I have some requests.

Please give Meredith and Derek something to do, other than getting fake-married.

And please, no more fake Denny.

And please, please, no more fake Burke...I'm talking to you, weirdo, emotionally unavailable Christina Yang love interest fake-killer guy. Ew.

Finale Fever

I'm not sure why I always find myself traveling every finale week, but here I am again, away from home, and away from my trusty TV. My DVR is currently holding my finale episode of Grey's Anatomy hostage while I try and avoid any spoilers until my return. Just one more day until I finally see (or don't see) what becomes of Katherine Heigl.

Speaking of *spoilers*, here's a few comin' at ya, so beware in case you, too, have a DVR holding your beloved season-ender hostage.






BTW, I should mention that I didn't even bother writing about the Brothers and Sisters finale before I left because it was just so damn boring. No one in peril, no freaky fires, no more William Walker relatives...nuthin'. Just a hint that maybe that girl who used to be Justin's sister (but is now, ew, his fiance) may secretly be nutzo. Yawn. No, I don't care if Rob Lowe and Calista Flockhart's characters are or are not together, or if Calista/Kitty/whoever hooks up with that totally vanilla guy from the park.

Now, I did manage to squeeze in Desperate Housewives while I was away and...well, that was some decent finale-ing. Not mind blowing stuff, mind you, but I give it a solid B, which brings us to, of course...

The Good Lynette's surprise pregnancy? Priceless. And, I love the idea of Bree with Karl (Richard Burgi is so great as a slimeball, and I'm still catching up with his character and the goings-on at Harper's Island. More on that soon). I hope to see more of their dance next season. Very Sam and Diane-ish.

The Bad RE: Carlos's niece coming to live with Gaby and Carlos. I dunno, I mean... the random relative (or fake relative, who knows) that comes to live in order to shake things up? Isn't that sort of a been-there-done-that plot device? Haven't we been doing this since the arrival of cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch?? Snoozy.

The Cliffhanger I am so glad we have (hopefully) seen the last of Dave. Man that guy was creepy. And nice job, Desperate Housewives, with the "Who did Mike marry?" tease. Dear lord, I hope it's not Katherine. There has not been a couple with this little chemistry since Mr. and Mrs. Roper.

Now, the only cliffhanger HERE is whether or not I force myself to sit through The Bachelorette premiere tonight...

On a Break

This is a terrible relationship. You promise to give me answers, but you lie. You lead me on. I’ve given you what – almost 5 years? And what do you give me in return? Just a whole lotta smoke and mirrors. And I mean a WHOLE LOTTA smoke.

Damn you, LOST producers!!!! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…well, I am just an idiot.

*Spoilers*

TWO HOURS of “Jacob” wandering around in people’s past lives with no real payoff? THREE if you count the extra hour of re-hash that I did not watch, FOUR if you count the re-hash last week or the week before. It’s all blurring together and still taking up precious DVR space. And BTW, when did the going rate for finales become THREE hours anyway? I’m talking to you, The Apprentice and The Biggest Loser finales.

Can’t you answer anything? Like, what about that smoke monster? How are all these people inter-connected? How come we once saw Jin say he had never married in a flashback a few seasons ago?

And here’s a few more questions to ponder …

Is it just me, or do Juliet, Penny, and the young version of the mom of the scientist guy all kind of look the same?







Did it strike anyone else as odd that while Sayid lay bleeding to death from his gunshot wound, Jack stopped down for a heart to heart with Sawyer?

Listen up, makers of LOST, I think it was genius when you threw the flash forward at us in last season’s cliffhanger (or was it the season before? Who can remember?). And at first, despite the absurdity of what appeared to be some sort of wagon wheel determining the time shift, it was sort of cool the way you jumped from the past to the future.

But now it’s just exhausting. All that and you keep throwing MORE characters in the mix? Really? Don’t get me wrong, I love challenging television. I swear I have the brain capacity to handle complexities far more advanced than The Bachelor.

But seriously, can you throw me a bone?

You've got nine months to produce the next LOST baby. I want answers. I want the truth.

I can handle it.

Odd Jobs

I love this time of year. Besides gorging on all the finales, this is the month we get word on all the new shows soon to be clogging up your DVR.

A&E just announced some...interesting ones.

Tony Danza, he of Taxi and Who's the Boss? fame, will be doing a reality show where he - get this - spends a year as a teacher. They are billing it as the real life Welcome Back, Kotter. Now, I don't remember where Mr. Kotter was being welcomed back from, but I'm guessing it wasn't from the worst talk show ever other than Magic Johnson's life as a sitcom star.








Steven Seagal: Lawman premieres this summer. The onetime ponytail wielding action star is apparently a real life deputy in Louisiana. Roll cameras...let the hijinks ensue!










And in requisite 'comeback' reality show of the week...MC Hammer will hit the airwaves in June for Hammertime. This one follows Stanley Burrell aka MC Hammer as he lives a more 'economically balanced life' (press release words - not mine!) in Oakland, CA. "Economically balanced"? No word on whether Suze Orman has a role.

On another note, do I have to start watching Jon and Kate plus 8? I am assaulted by their mugs on the covers of all my favorite trashy mags, and I sure would hate to miss out on something pop culturally relevant...but really? Do I care about this? What's with all the Octo-fascination?

Eight is Enough was sooooooo before its time.

XOXO

I am caught in a bit of a quandary. You see, I was late to the party on Gossip Girl. But when all my friends' HUSBANDS were watching, I became intrigued.

And so the boyfriend and I set off on a total Netflix binge.

But, even with all of our marathon Gossip Girl-ing, we didn't finish season 1 before season 2 began. And so we have been trapped in a vortex, waiting for season 2 to end, trying to impose a Gossip Girl Season 2 news blackout until we can power through all THOSE episodes to be caught up for season 3.

Wow, TV is exhausting.

Last night, though, I had to break the no-watching-season-2-pact to see the 80's flashback/possible spinoff pilot. In the interest of not totally ruining season 2 for myself, nor wanting to 'officially' break the pact, I sped thru the episode just to watch the flashback parts. A bit of a pain in the keester, but so be it.

Here's the skinny, should this spin off get picked up:

What was good Andrew McCarthy as Lilly's hoity-toity dad? Could there be anyone more iconic to play the rich 80's snob? Genius casting, though I did half expect her to call him Blaine.

What was bad Why can no one ever get 80's hair right? Lilly's (Brittany Snow) hair looked basically like all the girls on the red carpet...in 2009. It's NOT that hard, people! It's really all about the bangs. I could loan them my high school pics for research! Let's just say if you were going to name my bangs....well, junior year it was "the roll". Senior year, it was "the claw". And yes, I occasionally rocked a banana clip. If you are female, you know you did, too.

Beyond the hair issues, did we really need those gratuitous shots of the Rubik's cube? What's next - is Michael Jackson gonna moonwalk into one of the scenes?

Just plain odd I can't take credit for noticing this, because I read it elsewhere, but now that it was pointed out to me...Teenage Lilly=blue eyes. Grown up Lilly=not so blue eyes. What, no budget for contacts, CW?




And that girl that played the sister was just a total dead ringer for Jennifer Grey's sister in Dirty Dancing, so it was kind of its own unintentional 80's shout out for me.

Verdict Anything 80's sucks me in, but just for fun, let's stunt cast some more 80's peeps besides Andrew McCarthy. Paging YOU, Sixteen-Candles-Jake aka Michael Schoeffling.

It's Not Brain Surgery

Ok, actually, it is.

*spoilers*

Maybe it was the exhaustion of clearing out all the clutter on my DVR from weeks of backlog, or maybe I'm just a hopeless sap (probably), but despite my frequent dissatisfaction with Grey's in recent seasons, I loved the Izzie "twist" wedding on the heels of her recent brain tumor. No, I wasn't exactly SHOCKED, but I kind of loved all the old school drama, and cried like a little girl who just got cut from her softball team. (Ok, FINE, that did happen to me. Softball is scary!)

But here's the thing...is there really anything left to wrap up in a finale? Aren't we like, done now for the summer?

Well, regardless, two hours are comin' at ya on Thursday, and here's what they are going to fill it with, based on the official press materials:

Izzie contemplates a risky surgery to save her life I predict a cliffhanging "Will she or won't she make it?" end, complete with requisite shot of flat-lining heart monitor. Duh.

Mark is ready to take his relationship with Lexie to the next level I don't think I've cared about a couple this little since Brandon dated that annoying reporter girl on 90210.

George delivers stunning news to Bailey, sending shockwaves throughout the hospital This poor dude has had nothing to do for months. Sounds like he's moving on, though who knows? Maybe he's going go on a shooting spree or something. That'd sure liven things up for his storyline. If he isn't leaving, he needs something to elevate him beyond a poor man's Dr. Carter from ER.

As for Meredith and Derek, they have really become the Annoyingtons, haven't they? I have no idea if they are getting married on Thursday, but they need something new to do, too. Give Derek a long lost child, or make the chief Meredith's REAL dad. Something.

One thing's for sure - medical dramas are STILL all the rage after all these years. NBC just announced not one but TWO new medical shows for fall.

Is it wrong that I'm starting to miss ER a little bit?