Reality-Palooza

Oh, where to begin. Well, we must start with just a few free association thoughts on "Dancing with the Stars". First, love the attempts to try to make these B-listers (C-list-ers? D-list-ers?) credible . Leeza Gibbons described as a "NEWS journalist". NEWS? Bob Woodruff is a news journalist. Leeza Gibbons reports about J-Lo's latest husband. Heather Mills as a "charity campaigner". Ahem. Yes, that's exactly how she's usually described...especially in the British press. Shandi Fennesey described winning Miss USA as the "highlight of her life". It's good to have big dreams.

I love live tv. Not only did Joey Fatone spend most of his dance with his mike precariously swinging from his hip, which was acknowledged, but is it JUST ME or did the camera guy almost take him out at the end. This is why God invented DVR. Runner up live tv moment: Billy Ray Cyrus getting tangled up in his partner's mullet wig.

Joey's the fave right now. Send Leeza home. What a snooze fest she was. And yes, Heather's leg is still on.

THE BACHELOR: OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN
ABC started running promos for the next Bachelor. Only, now it's called The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman. Sorry, but this looked BORRRing. The best promos they could could come up with are a few (requisite) shirtless shots of Bachelor Boy and the girls oohing and ahhing. Where's the crazy? Where's the catfights? And why are they throwing in a theme of a movie from 25 years ago? Are they finding all the bachelorettes in factories? Just to make it worse, rumor has it all the shows are 90 mins. ABC, the ratings for this show have been less than stellar. 90 mins? This is the worst idea since they stretched the Today Show to 4 hours and we've been forced to endure 20 makeover segments a day just to fill the time.

LAST BUT NOT "INN" THE LEAST
Tonight's the debut of TORI AND DEAN: INN LOVE. Here's a little note to the network: first, if you're going to debut your only potentially watchable show, and you're going to put it in a crappy time slot (10:30pm), maybe you should also update the schedule on your website, so people realize the "Bad Girls Club" marathon lead-in does indeed end at 10:30 to bring us the Tori and Dean antics. Thanks.